Amid all the pregame hoopla surrounding the Buffalo Bills' home opener this Sunday, wide

receiver Terrell Owens will pause and repeat the same ritual he has performed for 14 years as

a pro football player.

As everyone rises for the national anthem, Owens will look for a spot high in the stands at

Ralph Wilson Stadium or even gaze at the American flag waving in the breeze.

Then he will visualize the face of his grandmother, Alice Black -- his inspiration and rock,

the strict and religious woman who did much of the hands-on parenting during his childhood.

Alice Black also is one of more than 5 million Americans dealing with Alzheimer's disease.

"I just take that moment to reflect and think about her," Owens said during a 20-minute

interview this week. "I visualize what it has taken for me to get to where I am, and what

she's meant to me."

"My grandmother allowed me not to take my blessings for granted," he added, saying he has

somehow "genetically adopted" her inner strength.

Spurred by his grandmother's disease, Owens has become a national spokesman for the Alzheimer's Association. He's also serving as honorary chairman of the Erie County association's 20th annual Memory Walk, starting at 10 a.m. Saturday in Delaware Park.

Owens has testified before Congress to lobby for increased Alzheimer's funding. And, as a

tribute to his grandmother, he sits down and talks about the cause.

His activism on behalf of Alzheimer's seems like Owens' way of giving back, of saying thank

you to the woman who molded him during a tough childhood, when his father lived across the

street with another family and his mother was working much of the time.

Owens pinpointed the frustration he shares with millions touched by Alzheimer's.

"There's so much love and compassion for someone you've loved all your life, and you see

them regressing in front of your eyes, day by day, week by week, month by month," he said.

Black doesn't communicate much, but Owens sounds as if he knows what she would be thinking

about his Alzheimer's work.

"She's sort of like me," he said. "She walks and talks with a lot of pride, but deep inside

her, she's soft and has that love. If she saw me and knew what I was doing, I'm pretty sure

she'd be in tears.

"I know she would be proud."

Owens, with his larger-than-life persona, has attracted both support and criticism for his reality television program, "The T.O. Show," whose first season aired this summer on VH1.

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The most poignant moment might have come when Owens sat down with his grandmother, a scene

that left tears streaming down his cheeks.

In that scene, his grandmother, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's during Owens' rookie

year of 1996, sits mostly silent, as her grandson credits her for being what he is today,

including his controversial side.

That doesn't mean his upbringing wasn't painful at times. In his book, "Catch This!," Owens

acknowledged that his grandmother ruled his boyhood home with a heavy hand that left the

windows shut, the shades drawn and the whippings not uncommon.

"You always told me to be my own man, no matter what anybody said about me," he tells her

on the show. "When I hear 'em saying all that negative stuff, I think about you. You always

said, 'Speak your mind, no matter what.' They can say whatever they want, Grandma. You made me

what I am. I'm proud of who I am. I love you, Grandma. I know you hear me. I love you."

Black briefly breaks her silence.

"You'll be fine, son," she says, in a comment that was inaudible to Owens at the time. He

didn't hear the actual words until the producers played it back to him and enhanced the sound

later in Los Angeles.

"It was amazing for me, because I heard her be so silent all these years," Owens says in

narrating the show. "And that brings a smile to my heart, because I knew what she said: "You

gonna be all right. You gonna be all right.'"

Owens this week explained the tears that ran down his face when that scene was shot in

Alexander City, Ala.

"It was just me sharing that moment with my grandmother, trying to get a sense, a feel, of

what she could be thinking or saying at that moment," he said. "Me just reflecting back to all

the things she has taught me: to be strong, keep the faith. All those things ran through my

mind."

Most people dealing with a loved one's advanced Alzheimer's have a tough time trying to

reconcile this being the same person they have loved for years. Especially when it's tough to

know whether the person trapped in dementia can understand what you're saying or even

recognizes you.

"She's in there somewhere," Owens said of his grandmother. "She just doesn't have the motor

skills to speak [much], but sometimes you can see that she recognizes you by the glow on her

face."

Owens has plenty of demands on his time, but he's committed to telling his Alzheimer's

story.

"It's just me lending my voice and lending my personality to create awareness for the

disease, to bring people who don't have the knowledge up to speed," he said. "Obviously, a

person with my name and stature creates awareness, creates a buzz. Any time I can do anything

for Alzheimer's, they know where to find me."

Owens' schedule with the Bills before Sunday's game won't allow him to attend the Memory

Walk, which begins at 10 a.m. Saturday near the Buffalo Zoo entrance to Delaware Park.

Registration begins at 9 a.m. All proceeds support local programs for families with

Alzheimer's disease and related dementias.

Niagara County's Memory Walk will be held at Artpark in Lewiston at the same time.

Additional walks will be held Sept. 26 in Genesee, Orleans and Chautauqua counties.

Walkers no doubt will share the same sentiment Owens voiced about his grandmother.

"You want to hold onto something that you love so much," he said. "You want to hold onto it

till the end."