The Buffalo News - Life and Arts Columns http://www.buffalonews.com Latest stories from The Buffalo News en-us Mon, 20 May 2013 13:18:42 -0400 Mon, 20 May 2013 13:18:42 -0400 <![CDATA[ Robert Redford revisits Watergate for the Discovery Channel ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130420/LIFE/130429922/1202
When the Discovery Channel approached the man who had played Washington Post reporter Bob Woodward in “All the President’s Men” about doing a film to commemorate the scandal’s sort-of anniversary – it’s been almost 41 years since the break-in and not quite 39 since Richard Nixon’s resignation – “my first reaction was, ‘No, leave it alone. That’s what it was then. You know, times move on,’ ” the actor/ director said in a phone interview.

But Discovery was persistent.

“And then I thought about it, and I said, ‘No, wait a minute. It’s far enough back now that it’s a piece of American history, and maybe if you revisit that, there might be something to [show] the younger, or newer, generation, who may not even know about it,” said the 76-year-old actor and director, whose latest movie, “The Company You Keep,” is in theaters now.

Chances are, he’s right. Because though “gate” has been attached to dozens of more forgettable scandals, from “Nannygate” to “Nipplegate,” one thing that comes through in Discovery’s “All the President’s Men Revisited,” airing at 8 p.m. Sunday, is that the big daddy of them all – named after the building where the break-in to Democratic headquarters occurred – took place in a very different Washington, D.C.

And a very long time ago.

So long ago, in fact, that Redford in the film recalls watching the 1973 Watergate hearings in the Senate during breaks on the set of “The Great Gatsby.” MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow, who, along with “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart, helps lower the median age of the talking heads in “Revisited,” was a newborn when the Senate hearings convened and speaks about how her mother basically fed her and watched Watergate.

Redford’s interest in the scandal, though, predated U.S. Sen. Howard Baker’s famous question, “What did the president know and when did he know it?”

“When I got involved in the story, it was only about two weeks after the actual break-in,” Redford said. “A lot of people don’t know that. … I was already focused on that issue because it looked like a story that went away real quick.” He thought that there was more to it, “and therefore when the two names [of Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward] started to appear, I was already focused [on whether] this thing was going to completely go away.

“You knew, your gut told you, that there was something more ... and so I started to focus on these two guys all through that summer [of 1972], and then when it exploded into a major deal, I thought, ‘Well, this would be an interesting little black-and-white film that I could produce with two unknown actors.’”

Woodward and Bernstein, caught up in a little story of their own, didn’t make it easy.

It “took a while, because they never returned my call,” Redford said. “Woodward thought it was a setup, they knew they were under surveillance. And he apologized later, ‘Well, I didn’t think you were you.’

In the end, it would take four years to bring “All the President’s Men” to the screen – in color – with not-exactly-unknowns Redford and Dustin Hoffman playing Woodward and Bernstein.

“Carl was so colorful and, you know, Dustin was maybe going to have an easier time of it because … there were all these things he could play with,” Redford said of Bernstein, who would go on to be immortalized again – pseudonymously – in ex-wife Nora Ephron’s book and film “Heartburn.”

“You could almost see that coming at the time,” Redford said, laughing.

But while Bernstein was clearly a character, Redford couldn’t get a handle on Woodward.

“I said, ‘Bob, you come off as kind of dull.’ And he said, ‘Well, that’s how I am.’

“And I said, ‘Oh, come on.’

“And he said, ‘No, no. I’m really not that interesting.’

“And I said, ‘Bob! I’ve got to play you. I’ve got to find something.’ And we talked and talked and he kept trying to put it off by saying, ‘No, Carl’s the more interesting one.’

“And I said, ‘Well, this has to be equal. I have to find something in you.’ And slowly but surely, I found what it was in Woodward, and that was his doggedness, his focus,” Redford said.

“He told me a story that was really wonderful,” about taking a two-day test at Yale for which he hadn’t studied.

The first day, Woodward “sort of winged it” and was sure he’d done poorly. So before the second day, he studied, and felt he’d “sailed through,” Redford said, only to discover, when the results came back, that the results were the opposite of what he’d thought.

Woodward’s conclusion?

“I realized at that time that I didn’t know what good work was, and that I was just going to have to work harder and harder and harder,” he told Redford. ]]> Fri, 19 Apr 2013 17:02:11 -0400 By Ellen Gray

Philadelphia Daily News

]]> <![CDATA[ People’s Pharmacy: Is natural deodorant really safer? ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130520/CITYANDREGION03/130529974/1202 Q. I’ve relied on natural crystal deodorants for years, with the understanding that they were safer than the usual antiperspirants. I was under the impression that they were free of aluminum. When I checked the label, it said “potassium alum.” Does that mean aluminum?



A. Yes; potassium alum is hydrated potassium aluminum sulfate. It is used in the purification of drinking water to get particles to precipitate out. Styptic pencils contain alum to stop bleeding from minor cuts. Alum also is used in most crystal deodorants.

The question of aluminum toxicity has been controversial for decades. A review of the evidence in the Journal of Alzheimer’s Disease (March 2011) concluded: The hypothesis that aluminum significantly contributes to Alzheimer’s disease is built upon very solid experimental evidence and should not be dismissed. Immediate steps should be taken to lessen human exposure to aluminum, which may be the single most aggravating and avoidable factor related to Alzheimer’s.

...

Q. I have had chronic constipation for years. It has probably contributed to my hemorrhoids.

I tried magnesium, and it helped a lot for a while, but I had to increase the dose to get the same effect. Do you have any suggestions as to what I can do? The doctors have only offered laxatives that are habit-forming. I desperately need help.



A. The usual recommendation for avoiding constipation is to increase fiber. Recent research, however, shows that fluid intake may be much more important (American Journal of Gastroenterology, May 2013).

You also might benefit from chewing sugarless gum. Nonsugar sweeteners such as maltitol, sorbitol and xylitol attract water within the intestines. This helps to soften the stool.

We are sending you our Guides to Constipation and Digestive Disorders with our 10 tips to combat constipation. Anyone who would like copies, please send $5 in check or money order with a long (No. 10), stamped (66 cents), self-addressed envelope to: Graedons’ People’s Pharmacy, No. GG-33, P.O. Box 52027, Durham, NC 27717-2027. It also can be downloaded for $2 from our website: www.peoplespharmacy.com.

You may find the recipe for Power Pudding, with wheat bran, applesauce and prune juice, is especially helpful.

...

Q. I have a cold sore, for which my doctor prescribed Xerese. It is a new medicine for cold sores.

I will take it in addition to L-lysine tablets and L-lysine cream. I hope it helps. What should I know about it?



A. This new cream is a combination of two old drugs, acyclovir and hydrocortisone. It should be applied at the first sign of a cold sore to speed healing. Since acyclovir is an antiviral drug active against herpes simplex 1 virus that causes cold sores, and hydrocortisone eases inflammation and helps skin heal, it should be helpful. If the sore does not clear up within two weeks, check back with your physician.

...

Q. Before leaving on a trip, scan a copy of your medical and eyeglass prescriptions. Attach them to an email that you send to yourself. Then they will always be as available as the nearest Internet connection wherever you are in the world. You might want to include the contact information of the doctors who write the prescriptions.



A. Thanks for this helpful suggestion just in time for summer vacation. Losing eyeglasses or a prescription can ruin a trip.



In their column, Joe and Teresa Graedon answer letters from readers. Write to them via www.PeoplesPharmacy.com. ]]> Mon, 20 May 2013 07:54:47 -0400 <![CDATA[ Money Manners: Do get gift for quickie wedding – but not right away ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130520/CITYANDREGION03/130529975/1202 Dear Jeanne and Leonard: When our neighbor’s son “Andy” got married last year, we gave him and his bride a nice gift. Well, the ink was barely dry on their thank-you notes when the couple split up. Not that Andy stayed single for long. He’s now engaged again, and we’re invited to this wedding as well. Seriously, do we have to buy this kid another wedding present when he’s getting married for the second time in 10 months?

– Feeling Cranky, New England



Dear F.C.: We don’t blame you for feeling cranky. But just because Andy’s first marriage was shorter than a season of “Mad Men” doesn’t mean the second Mrs. Andy deserves to have her nuptials slighted. Plus, you probably don’t want to signal to your neighbors that you no longer take their son’s marriages seriously. So for their sake and the bride’s, give the couple a gift.

But take your time. Etiquette allows you a year to send your present, and rest assured: You won’t be the only folks who wait 11 months to see if these vows take.

...

Dear Jeanne and Leonard: At my neighbor “Ann’s” funeral, her husband took me aside and asked me to witness her cousin’s signature on a document. “Sam” said it was something “Allen” had signed shortly before Ann died, something important regarding property that Ann and Allen had inherited from their grandmother. While I hadn’t seen Allen sign the document, I didn’t feel I could say “no” at the funeral, so I signed what Sam handed me. Later, I realized I hadn’t even read it. What should I do? My husband says to forget about it, but I’m worried.

– Beth



Dear Beth: You’re right to worry. What if there’s a dispute between Sam and Allen over that property? What if they end up in court, and Allen says he never signed the document? That’s trouble you don’t need and Allen doesn’t deserve.

So, consider contacting Allen and asking him to confirm in writing that he signed the document Sam handed you. If he did sign it, he should thank you for witnessing his signature and happily write the letter. If he didn’t sign it, he’ll appreciate the heads-up.

Of course Sam won’t like being exposed, but so what? Your neighbor had no business pressuring you to falsely attest to the signature’s authenticity. And you were wrong to let him. All you can do now is make certain you aren’t complicit in the perpetration of a fraud.

...

Dear Jeanne and Leonard: My girlfriend “Marnie” and I are breaking up, so we’re selling our condo and splitting the proceeds. When we bought the place, we each put up half of the $18,000 down payment. I sold stock options to come up with my share, and Marnie got $9,000 from her parents. There was no formal agreement about their money, and I assumed it was a gift to Marnie. But now her mother says it was a loan to us as a couple, and she wants her $9,000 back. Do I really owe her anything?

– Blindsided, Toronto



Dear Blindsided: For it to have been a loan to you, Marnie or her parents had to tell you it was a loan before they put up the money. So, did they? Without a written agreement, all you can do is honestly try to recall whether – before Marnie’s parents wrote the check – either they or Marnie told you they expected you to repay them. If they did, you owe her parents $4,500 (and so does Marnie). But if they didn’t, and you’re sure they didn’t, you’re under no obligation to pay.

P.S.: If you decide to pay her parents $4,500, this will mean that you contributed $13,500 toward the down payment on the condo, while Marnie contributed $4,500. This imbalance shouldn’t be forgotten when you and Marnie go to divide the proceeds of the sale.



Please email your questions about money and relationships to Questions@MoneyManners.net. ]]> Mon, 20 May 2013 07:54:41 -0400 <![CDATA[ Miss Manners: Showing good will to others requires deft touch ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130520/CITYANDREGION03/130529976/1202 Dear Miss Manners: I have at many times read in the paper about people buying meals, etc., for others as a gesture of kindness. I have found myself in situations where I would like to show similar good will, but have been hesitant to do so for fear of insulting the intended recipient.

Two examples come to mind:

I was shopping at the local supermarket and observed an older gentleman with two little girls (undoubtedly his granddaughters), and they seemed to be shopping very selectively as if they did not have a great deal of money to buy everything they wanted. I wanted to give him $20 and tell him to buy his girls something good for dinner, but was unable to approach him because I didn’t want to insult him.

Another time I was flying home, and there was a young man in military uniform sitting across the aisle from me. When the flight attendant came around offering food for purchase, could I have told her, “I’ll take a snack box, and I’d also like to buy that gentleman whatever he wants”?

Please advise how I might delicately offer a gesture of good will in the future.



Gentle Reader: Which kind of good will do you want to offer?

One type is paying for someone for whom the cost might be difficult. Another is doing so to offer thanks. And a third is to start a flirtation.

In the case of the grandfather, you don’t really know that money was a problem. He may be teaching the girls to shop carefully and setting a limit, as any sensible adult would do.

In any case, how would he have explained a handout from you to them without embarrassment? The only polite way to have done this would have been to slip the money to the cashier, and, when he discovered his bill was already paid, to say, “You’re such an adorable family, I wanted to treat you.”

As for your fellow passenger, you could have asked if you could buy him a snack as a gesture of appreciation for his service. Miss Manners notes that you should then have been prepared for his interpreting it as flirtation.Dear Miss Manners: How does one politely chastise an attendee at a social event who has not RSVPed as requested on the invitation?

Perhaps “chastise” is too strong a word, and I certainly don’t want to interrupt my own event with scolding, but this is an increasing problem that I feel should be addressed – in a polite way, of course.



Gentle Reader: Certainly guests should never be scolded; they should be greeted with enthusiastic hospitality. In this case, Miss Manners suggests exclaiming: “What an unexpected pleasure! When you didn’t answer my invitation, I figured it could only be because you were away.” ]]> Mon, 20 May 2013 07:54:34 -0400 <![CDATA[ Dear Abby: Adults should get GEDs now ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130520/LIFE/130529977/1202 Dear Abby: I have worked in the field of education for more than 40 years, with the last 25 years serving in adult education, helping students complete their high school equivalency diploma. BIG changes are impending worldwide in this very important educational service.

Starting in 2014, the cost may go up. Up until two years ago, the classes in our community were free. The testing cost $7.50, which paid for a printed diploma. Since then, the cost has gone up – first to $25 and then to $35. Now the GED program has been bought by a for-profit organization and the costs will go higher than ever. Furthermore, it will no longer be possible to take the test using pencil and paper. It will all be done on computer.

Please encourage the thousands of adults who do not have their high school degrees to make a life-changing decision for themselves and their families NOW!

– Joy in a Classroom Down South



Dear Joy: I am sure many readers will thank you for this important heads-up. Readers, the changes Joy has described will go into effect Jan. 2, 2014. According to the media representative for the GED Testing Service in Washington, D.C., the costs of the tests will be determined by the state in which it is administered. It is currently between $0 and $250, and in 2014 will “marginally increase or decrease” according to which state you live in. (Decrease? Forgive me for being doubtful …) Criteria for passing or failing the test will remain the same. Readers, any of you who are not computer literate should start now. Do not delay. If you are uncomfortable with technology and have a friend or relative who is knowledgeable, more information can be obtained by visiting www.gedtestingservice.com.Dear Abby: I have been in the workplace for 20 years. During that time I have witnessed lying, cheating, lechery, betrayal, vicious gossip, arrogance, entitlement, stealing and bullying, etc.

Last week, a co-worker whom I liked and respected confided to me that she hopes a 102-year-old relative will die soon because she needs to inherit some money. I was floored and had a hard time keeping the shock off my face. Does work bring out the worst in people? Is it because we all must be here every day? Is it too many people competing for too few resources? Is my hide too thin? Am I in the wrong job?

– The Daily Grind



Dear Daily Grind: When you spend eight hours a day with people, they usually reveal their core values at some point. In your case, you appear to work with someone who “overshares.”

I don’t think your hide is too thin, and I’m not in a position to tell you if you’re in the wrong job. You may, however, be overdue for a vacation. ]]> Mon, 20 May 2013 07:54:30 -0400 <![CDATA[ Miss Manners: Graduating with dignity may be impossible dream ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130519/CITYANDREGION03/130519202/1202 Dear Miss Manners: The time for school graduation ceremonies is upon us again. Unfortunately, I’ve been witnessing that in recent years, polite applause and inward pride are steadily losing ground to ear-piercing whistles and hooting and hollering like banshees upon hearing a loved one’s name read.

Some students have taken to unashamedly making assorted gestures intended to elicit additional outbursts from the audience. Moreover, they are being fully indulged by their friends and relatives.

Another growing practice is to laden graduates with innumerable flower leis, some apparently in competition for heaviest or most money spent. Such audacious draperies undermine the school’s traditional colors, if not also making at least a few students merely wearing a cap and gown feel less appreciated.

Besides making what used to be dignified events uncomfortably loud for others around them, the excessive celebrants are drowning out the names of subsequent students filing past the podium. Effectively, they are stealing irreplaceable moments of joy from other families.

It’s all so tasteless and rude. What might you suggest be done to bring decorum back to these increasingly unbecoming spectacles?



Gentle Reader: Well, the school principals are trying, as you may have noticed. If it weren’t for all that noise, you would be able to hear them pleading for the applause to be withheld until all diplomas have been handed out.

It never works. The principals have lost whatever small authority they had left after college acceptances were received. Furthermore, they have little inclination to put a damper on a celebratory day.

Yet for some graduates, it does just that. Turning a mass celebration into a popularity contest might remind them how relieved they are to be leaving high school.

If Miss Manners were in charge of such a ceremony, she might say: “Now I realize that those of you who didn’t expect to make it through high school will be tempted to let loose and holler when you receive your diplomas, and that your families may be so overcome with relief that they will chime in. But you did make it, and your diplomas are just as good as everyone else’s. So I ask you to accept this honor with dignity, and not draw attention to how surprised you are.”Dear Miss Manners: Our 7-year-old daughter was invited to a classmate’s home birthday party, using the typical card invitation. Unfortunately, our daughter had confiscated the invitation, and we forgot about it. So, when she asked about going to the party, we had no gift, we had no plans to go, and worst of all, we missed the RSVP deadline. What is the etiquette for calling in a post-deadline RSVP?



Gentle Reader: We have here a classic case of better late than never. This is the sort of thing Miss Manners expects you to be able to figure out by putting yourself in the other person’s place. Would you rather have unexpected guests during the party, or an apology and answer beforehand? ]]> Fri, 17 May 2013 11:11:50 -0400 <![CDATA[ Dear Abby: Widow wanted to bring guest to wedding ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130519/CITYANDREGION03/130519203/1202
Not long ago, I was invited to a friend’s daughter’s wedding. When I asked if I could bring “Sam,” I was told, “No, we don’t know him and there are a lot of other people we would like to invite.” I got the same response from my first cousin when I asked if I could bring Sam to her son’s wedding: “No, we don’t have room for him and we don’t know him.”

Abby, Sam and I are a couple; he is not a casual boyfriend. Surely, if we were married he would be invited. Please tell me what is proper when inviting a widow to a wedding or other event.

– Widow Stands Alone



Dear Widow: It is considered a breach of etiquette to ask to bring a guest to an expensive event like a wedding if only you have been invited. If that option were open, your invitation would have been addressed to “Mary Smith, and guest.” It’s likely that money constraints dictated the guest list be limited at both of these weddings. If this happens again, it is up to you to decide whether witnessing the event is more important than your discomfort.Dear Abby: I have been dating this awesome guy for three months. The problem is, I lied to him. He’s well-educated and he continuously encourages me to further my education. He thinks I’m a college grad, when in reality, I am three credits short of a diploma. I plan to finish this summer. Should I come clean?

– Going Someplace And Feeling Guilty



Dear Feeling Guilty: I think you’d feel better if you cleared the air, and if you do, I’m sure he will respect you for having the character to do so. Explain that in your eagerness to impress him you didn’t mention that you’re three credits short of graduating. If it’s a deal-breaker, I’d be surprised, but it would mean he wasn’t the man for you. ]]> Fri, 17 May 2013 11:11:18 -0400 <![CDATA[ Carolyn Hax: Let daughter make her own choices ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130519/CITYANDREGION03/130519205/1202 Dear Carolyn: My lovely, 23-year-old daughter is a romantic and wants to marry the young man she is dating. They have “officially” dated two years, but were friends for years before that.

My daughter lives alone, pays her bills, and is learning how to be a responsible adult, but she is still naive in many ways. Having just graduated, her boyfriend lives with his parents and has an entry-level job, so has not yet lived independently.

They talk all the time about their future, even about living together, which I oppose. I believe my daughter just “loves being in love” and loves that her boyfriend is willing to discuss the future when most young men his age would turn and run!

I also don’t want her to become so involved that she won’t be able to extricate herself from this relationship should it not endure.

My daughter fluctuates about what she wants to do, careerwise, and I want her to be able to explore many options and focus on aspects of her life other than getting married. How can I encourage her to slow down and focus on becoming an independent, self-reliant woman in her own right?

– Worried Mom



A: By letting her navigate this relationship for herself.

You provide a thorough accounting of common, indeed, legitimate concerns about committing to someone too young, but it’s not your call. Not unless she asks for your opinion, and even then you need to respond judiciously for several reasons: You don’t want to motivate her to prove you wrong; if you are wrong, then you don’t want to be the one who bashed her future spouse; none of what you say will be as persuasive as what she learns for herself; independent, self-reliant people become that way by learning to get up after they fall; and your biases against this man and his parents, job and association with your daughter are abundantly clear.

You have so much more to gain from trusting the daughter you already raised than from fussing to perfect the daughter you envision. Slow down, please, and focus on becoming an independent, self-reliant parent in your own right.Dear Carolyn: I call my 84-year-old grandmother every Sunday. She always lists things she “had to do” that week – report people for having too many cars in their driveway, remind people to trim their trees, call the pastor because he did not wear a necktie.She also cries because she doesn’t have any friends. Should I point out the connection?

– S.



A: Her tears – and 84 years – are telling you how resistant she is to connecting the loneliness and the busybody dots. But you can throw a new dot out for her to try: “You also compliment the pastor on a good sermon, right?” Adapt and repeat weekly. It might help only you, but that’s OK, too. ]]> Fri, 17 May 2013 11:11:12 -0400 <![CDATA[ John Rosemond: time for son to ‘own’ his problems ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130518/REFRESH/130519147/1202 I went into my 17-year-old’s bedroom to wake him this morning. After some urging, he eventually got up and then told me he hated me. What is the appropriate consequence for this sort of disrespect?



A: Actually, I don’t consider that a form of disrespect. Strictly speaking, your son simply informed you of how he feels about you, or felt about you at that moment. His tone of voice may have been disrespectful, but the statement “I hate you” is not. It is about him, his feelings. It’s not about you.

It would have been a different story had your son said, “You’re stupid” or “You’re ugly.” Statements of those sorts, because they’d have disparaged you, would be examples of disrespect.

Today’s teens tend, unfortunately, to be emotionally dramatic. The very stupid fad known as “cutting” is an example of this new emotional narcissism. Contrary to popular myth, immaturity of this sort in teenagers is historically recent. It began in the late 1960s, when a new wave of parenting “experts” claimed that children should be allowed to express their feelings freely. Up until then, parents had understood the need to teach children to control the expression of their feelings as well as their behavior.

Let’s face it, a person who expresses his or her feelings freely is obnoxious, tyrannical, even sociopathic. Since the 1960s, all too many American parents have been intimidated by their children’s emotions. Consequently, they have not disciplined them properly. Therefore, many teens feel they have license to express any old emotion they choose, in whatever context, toward whomever. It’s a form of narcissism, really, and it’s truly unfortunate because in the final analysis, the person most harmed is the teen in question. This unattractive characteristic does not make for successful relationships. Nor does it make for a positive sense of one’s worth. As adults, these teens are likely to be very unhappy individuals.

So, what should you have done when your son told you he hated you? You should have either ignored it or said nothing more than something along the lines of “that’s most unfortunate” and walked away. That sort of nonchalant parental response is an example of what was once called “letting a child stew in his own juices.”

But I have a question for you: Why on earth are you taking responsibility for getting a 17-year-old out of bed in the morning? So he won’t be late for school? If that’s the case, then the question becomes, “Why are you taking responsibility for seeing to it that he’s not late for school?” And so on. If that sort of enabling is characteristic of your parenting style, then it’s no wonder that your son is emotionally immature. A child’s maturity depends to great degree on parents who force him to accept full responsibility for the choices he makes. In this case, your son gets to school late, he misses a class or two, his grades suffer, he has to go to summer school in order to graduate on time, he makes less money over the summer, he can’t see his friends as often, and so on.

Start letting your son “own” his problems. It’s high time. Oh, and let him hate you all he wants. That’s his problem, too.



Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents’ questions on his website at www.rosemond.com. ]]> Fri, 17 May 2013 17:40:32 -0400 <![CDATA[ People’s Pharmacy: Grapefruit lowers blood pressure ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130518/REFRESH/130519153/1202 From about 1985 till about 2005, my blood pressure ran about 150/90, and I needed antihypertensive medications. In 2003, I planted several citrus trees, including two pink grapefruits.

When they started to bear fruit, I ate lots of grapefruit and made gallons of juice (which I froze). I enjoyed the juice as the harvest faded.

The past several years, my blood pressure has been about 130/75. Two doctors told me to keep up the grapefruit routine and cut back on the meds! I feel wonderful.

A. Both animal and human research suggest that grapefruit may indeed have an impact on blood-vessel flexibility and lower blood pressure (Phytotherapy Research, July 2009; Metabolism, July 2012). Other foods that can help lower blood pressure include beets, green, leafy vegetables and dark chocolate.

To learn more about natural ways to control hypertension, readers may wish to consult our Guide to Blood Pressure Treatment. People who take blood pressure or cholesterol medications must be cautious about grapefruit, though. It can interact with many drugs to make them more dangerous. There is detailed information in our Guide to Grapefruit Interactions. Anyone who would like both copies may send $5 in check or money order with a long (No. 10), stamped (66 cents), self-addressed envelope to: Graedons’ People’s Pharmacy, No. BJ-79, P.O. Box 52027, Durham, NC 27717-2027. They can be downloaded for $2 each from our website: www.peoplespharmacy.com.

Israeli researchers have found that red grapefruit not only lowers blood pressure but also cholesterol and triglycerides (American Journal of Hypertension, October 2005; Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry, March 8, 2006).

…

Q. I tried taking cinnamon capsules so as not to waste them after my husband gave up on them. Overnight, I felt like something was biting me when I went to sleep.

It got worse and worse. Even during the day, I felt like I had bugs crawling all over me. I bombed the house and spent a fortune at the doctor’s getting blood work done.

I asked my doctors and my pharmacist if cinnamon would cause this, since it is the only thing that I could think of. They mostly laughed at me.

I finally stopped taking the capsules, and the next night I was 80 percent better. Within a week, the sensation was completely gone. I eventually found someone else on the Internet who had the same reaction. So I discovered on my own how a seemingly innocuous spice could cause such havoc.

A. There are numerous reports of rash occurring where cinnamon comes in contact with the skin (contact dermatitis). Reactions like yours seem to be relatively uncommon, except when people take high doses.

…

Q. My 18-year-old son became depressed. I did some research before taking him to the doctor, so I encouraged her to check his vitamin D level.

Lo and behold, it was below the normal level at 20 ng/ml. After two months of supplementation (5,000 IU/day), his levels are now high normal (59 ng/ml), and he is no longer depressed. This is much better than meds since it was inexpensive and without side effects.



A. Correcting vitamin D deficiency can help alleviate depression in some patients (Journal of Clinical Psychopharmacology, June 2013). Your son’s vitamin D levels should be carefully monitored. At 5,000 IUs per day, some people could end up with too much vitamin D in their bodies. He may need to cut back now that he is in the normal range. ]]> Fri, 17 May 2013 17:39:08 -0400 <![CDATA[ Drs. Oz and Roizen: Weird hairdo health signals ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130518/REFRESH/130519155/1202 Psst. … Is your hair – or lack of it – trying to tell you something?

Two new reports link male pattern baldness – not that celebrity-inspired shaved noggin – with higher odds for heart disease and prostate cancer. Those aren’t the only hairdo and health connections sprouting in the news. Blondes, redheads and young silver foxes: You’re on the list, too, but don’t wig out just yet!

We think these offbeat signals, like higher testosterone levels – which can boost risk for a shiny dome and clogged arteries – give medical science new ways to study hidden health hazards. In the future, that could translate into new tests and treatments.

What’s in it for you, right now? Motivation to do the right thing every time you look in the mirror, so you can live life to the youngest. Here’s our take on what you should know and do.

Hairy health signal No. 1: Baldness and prostate cancer risk

Early baldness can boost odds for early prostate cancer in black men, says a new University of Pennsylvania report. Any baldness raised risk, but going hairless in front doubled it. Baldness before age 60 also was connected with more advanced cancers in younger men. The link? DHT, a type of testosterone.

What to do: Guys, get the prostate checks you need. Black men have a 50 percent to 60 percent higher risk for prostate cancer. All men should talk with their docs about the pros and cons of the prostate-specific antigen (PSA) test.

Signal No. 2: Baldness and your heart

Dome dudes, another reminder: Stay on top of your heart health, too. A report, this one from Japan, says losing hair increases heart disease risk by as much as 48 percent. This time, “vertex” balding – that’s hair loss on top – proved riskiest. Why? DHT again; it shuts down hair follicles and is linked with higher blood pressure and LDL cholesterol levels, along with hardening of the arteries from fatty deposits in artery walls. Baldness also may be a sign of insulin resistance or chronic inflammation that prevents hair growth and messes up artery health.

What to do: Eat right, exercise, stay up to date on cholesterol and blood pressure checks, and take the cholesterol- and blood-pressure-lowering meds recommended by your doc. Guys with high LDL cholesterol, high inflammation markers (hsCRP and TMAO) and hypertension have the greatest heart risks.

Signal No. 3: Redheads and dental health

The same genetic quirk that creates fiery carrot-tops and autumn-sunset-hued auburn tresses ratchets up pain sensitivity. That’s why natural redheads need on average 20 percent more general anesthesia during surgery. It also turns out they’re twice as likely to avoid the dentist. The trouble with that? Skipping the tooth doc boosts your risk for gum disease, and that can mean a greater risk for diabetes and heart problems.

What to do: Make that appointment. Talk with your dentist about staying pain-free during procedures.

Signal No. 4: Blondes, redheads and melanoma

Fair hair usually pairs up with fair skin – the kind that burns easily in the sun – raising the risk for skin cancer. Redheads may also have less eumelanin, a skin pigment that shields you from the sun’s damaging ultraviolet rays, and more pheomelanin, which is less protective.

What to do: Use at least SPF 15 on all exposed parts – face, ears, neck, hands – whenever you’re out. Getting yearly skin checks is a brilliant idea.

Signal No. 5: Premature graying and thyroid problems

Most early graying is purely genetic. But becoming a silver fox before your time may signal a thyroid imbalance.

What to do: Feeling “off?” Ask your doctor about a thyroid check if you’re more tired, moody, forgetful, cold, constipated and/or puffy than usual – or if you notice signs like drying skin and hair, and trouble losing weight. Finding and fixing thyroid problems will help you feel like yourself again, regardless of your hair color.



Dr. Mehmet Oz is host of “The Dr. Oz Show” and Dr. Mike Roizen is chairman of the Wellness Institute at Cleveland Clinic. ]]> Fri, 17 May 2013 17:38:41 -0400 <![CDATA[ Zorba Paster: tune out with earphones at your own risk ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130518/REFRESH/130519156/1202
Guess what? A recent study bears this out.

Researchers analyzing accident statistics found the number of accidents involving people wearing earphones has tripled since 2004. More and more of these are serious. In 2010, almost 50 people, mostly teenagers and young adults, were hit by a car or train because of earphones. Half of them died.

This may seem like a small number of deaths, but it’s more than measles, rubella, polio and diphtheria put together. We spend a ton of money and time immunizing our kids for these diseases, but we rarely talk to them about earphone safety.

There are 50,000 automobile deaths every year and 5,000 pedestrian deaths. We hear a lot about cellphone distraction causing car accidents, but no one is talking about it from the “pedestrian” point of view. There’s something wrong here.

Why is this happening? Two things are going on. The first is earphone distraction. When you’re listening to music with your iPod, you’re not paying as much attention to your surroundings. The other side is sensory deprivation. Crank up the music and you crank down the outside noise.

The study bore that out in one grim statistic: In one of four train- pedestrian deaths, the train engineer sounded the siren before the crash. There was plenty of time for the person to step out of harm’s way had they only heard what was going on.

What to do? It’s simple. Turn down the volume so you can hear what’s going on around you. This will be good in another way – you’ll be keeping your ears fit. We know that loud sounds over time destroy hearing, especially in the high-frequency range we use to hear speech. In many factories today, people wear hearing protection for just that reason.

While I’m on a rant, I have one more thought about ear- phones and walking. I think it’s OK to do from time to time, but sometimes it’s good just to be with your own thoughts. You can let your imagination run wild, plan the day, think about that conversation you just had or listen to the birds. Even in our age of electronic distraction, silence is still golden.



Dr. Zorba Paster is a family physician, university professor, author and broadcast journalist. He also hosts a popular radio call-in program at 3 p.m. Saturdays on WBFO-FM 88.7. ]]> Fri, 17 May 2013 17:38:26 -0400 <![CDATA[ God Squad: Muting our outrage over Boston bombings could backfire ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130518/CITYANDREGION03/130519174/1202
Why we should forgive the Boston bomber:

As a Christian pastor, I believe and I teach that Jesus clearly admonishes us to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44). He also teaches that if we don’t forgive others, then God will not forgive us (Matthew 6:15). I strongly believe that we can and should offer forgiveness, while at the same time seeking justice through the courts in order to find peace and healing both for our bodies, our souls and our nation. Though granting forgiveness may not occur immediately, it can take place in God’s time if we seek His will and guidance. Failing to encourage forgiveness, however undeserved it may seem, will only allow more bitterness, anger and fear to fester in us. – J., Durham, N.C.

Why we should not forgive the Boston bomber:

No! Not until we first forgive Adam Lanza, James Holmes, Jared Loughner, Nidal Hassan, Timothy McVeigh, Osama bin Laden and Adolf Hitler, none of whom I would ever forgive! To forgive any of these human monsters would be to devalue the lives of the innocent, decent people they killed and maimed. – R., Plainview, N.Y.

My response:

I think J. has touched on a profound point that if we do not forgive it corrodes our own souls and makes us less able to embody God’s loving words and abundant compassion here on earth.

I think R. has also grasped a chilling truth – that if we forgive this most recent mass murderer, must we also forgive all other mass murders? What does it mean to follow the biblical commandment to love your neighbor if your neighbor is a terrorist?

Despite my admiration for J.’s good heart, I agree with R., but I would like to keep talking to J. I wonder whether the consequences of mass forgiveness for mass murderers might be the opposite of what J. imagines. Muting our outrage at those who bring carnage to our country may end up weakening our resolve to seek justice because it humanizes the killers.

Such killers have dehumanized themselves by their violation of the sanctity of human life. Why should we re-humanize them by misplaced compassion? I say “misplaced” because they will not repent and they will not atone for the blood on their hands. Forgiving a repentant killer is a truly hard case for me. The Boston bombing is not such a case.

Radical evil exists. Evil chosen for its own sake exists. Cruelty without compassion exists, and in the face of radical evil, we must seek radical justice – not revenge, but justice.

I’m still unclear what J.’s forgiveness would look like. Perhaps, as J. states, the need to forgive the surviving Boston bomber comes from our need to be forgiven, but whatever sins I might petition God to forgive, they wouldn’t include terrorist bombings. We all stand in need of forgiveness, but to in any way equate our sins with the sins of a terrorist bomber is, I believe, a profound misunderstanding of the varying levels of sin, and thus the varying needs for forgiveness. We who have not committed such an act may not be righteous, but we’re not monsters. God must know the difference.

At the very least, the sins of the surviving terrorist bomber in Boston demand abject apology and sincere repentance for his cheapening of human life, for his perversion of true Islam, and for his profound lack of gratitude for the safe harbor afforded him by America – a gift he reciprocated in blood.

Thank you all for thinking about big spiritual questions with me. ]]> Fri, 17 May 2013 16:33:24 -0400 <![CDATA[ Car Talk: Approach garage idea as a hobby ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130518/CITYANDREGION03/130519175/1202 Dear Tom and Ray: I read somewhere that you started out with a garage that people could go to and work on their own cars. I’ve often thought that I would like to start a shade-tree garage where people like myself, who live in apartments, could go to fix their cars and hang out with other like-minded car guys.

Any suggestions for where I should start? I’ve been looking for a garage to rent, but I could use any tips you can lend. Thanks. – John



Tom: Well, John, first collect a great big pile of money. Then, if you don’t want to spend the time actually starting your own do-it-yourself garage, just throw a match on it.

Ray: We thought this was a great idea, too, back in the day. We saw ourselves standing around in white lab coats, rocking back and forth on our heels, while all around us people rented our space and our tools and worked on their cars.

Tom: Then, according to the plan, we’d simply roll the wheelbarrows full of money out the door every night and close up.

Ray: It didn’t work out that way. It just wasn’t a sustainable business idea for us, and that was in the era before massive computerization, when the average guy could actually fix his car.

Tom: So I think you should approach this as more of a hobby idea. Start by using Facebook or the Internet to try to identify people in your area who would be interested in tinkering with their cars and hanging out if a facility were available.

Ray: I’d think of it more as a club. You can call it the Rusted Nuts Club. On second thought, make it the Rusted Bolts Club. Then you can brainstorm with your new friends about finding a place you can use once a week or once a month.

Tom: Maybe someone has an outbuilding you guys could use. Or maybe someone knows a guy with a garage who’d be willing to rent it out to you in the evening, when his shop is closed. Of course, you’d have to solve the liability issue, because no insurance company in its right mind would insure this guy’s shop if it included a gang of beer-drinking tinkerers who came in at night to play with the lifts and the acetylene torch.

Ray: If that doesn’t work out, the armed forces maintain “Hobby Shops” on bases around the country where its active and retired personnel can work on their cars.

Tom: Of course, getting access to those shops requires a four-year commitment. But that might be less time than it’d take you to pay off the debt you’d run up by outfitting a garage that fails. Good luck, John!

...

Used cars can be a great bargain, and reliable, too! Find out why by ordering Tom and Ray’s pamphlet “How to Buy a Great Used Car: Secrets Only Your Mechanic Knows.” Send $4.75 (check or money order) to Used Car, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475.



Get more Click and Clack in their new book, “Ask Click and Clack: Answers from Car Talk.” Got a question about cars? Write to Click and Clack by visiting the Car Talk website at www.cartalk.com. ]]> Fri, 17 May 2013 16:33:21 -0400 <![CDATA[ Lisa McLeod: Are you listening to the wrong feedback? ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130518/CITYANDREGION03/130519176/1202
For example, my friend Julie felt called to make handmade cards.

From an early age she crafted masterpieces. She spent hours on each card; they were true works of art. By the time she got to college, her sorority sisters were so enamored of her cards they became a status symbol.

At the encouragement of her friends and family, she decided to exhibit her cards at a gift show. Her exquisite handcrafted masterpieces had a retail price of $10.

A well-known buyer for a major mass market retailer took her aside to give her some advice, “Honey,” he said, “You’re designing for a world that doesn’t exist.”

He told her that no one would ever pay $10 for a card. He said, “Your sorority sisters might like them; but you’ll never sell them to a retailer.”

She was crushed. He was a major buyer in the industry; if he didn’t think she could make it, he was probably right.

So she gave up her dream and became a social worker. But she continued to make cards for family and friends, who continued to rave about them, frame them and showcase them.

Then one day, 10 years after the show where she gave up her dream, a friend introduced her to a buyer at Neiman Marcus. Six months later her cards, now priced at $15 each, were being sold at Neiman Marcus stores in six major markets.

Apparently, the world where people pay double digits for fabulous handmade cards did exist. The traditional buyer just didn’t know about it.

So what’s the lesson here?

Persevere? Follow your heart? Ignore the critics?

Actually it’s a bigger lesson: Listen to the true experts.

My friend made the mistake many people do; she chose to listen to the wrong authority source.

She ignored the valid feedback, from the real experts, her potential market, the sorority girls who loved her cards. Yet she made life-altering decisions based on the feedback from someone who didn’t have knowledge of her market.

How many of us have done the same?

We let a well-meaning (yet unknowledgeable) parent tell us that we’ll never make a living with our art, music or Web skills. Or a true expert gives us a critique and we ignore it.

Or the flip side, someone tells us we’re good, when in reality they have no knowledge of the subject.

One of the secrets of success is knowing which feedback to listen to, and which feedback to ignore.

Here are three litmus tests to determine whether your feedback-giver is a valid source:

1. Do they know the subject? They don’t have to be in a position of authority, but they do need to know the terrain. Someone who has read thousands of manuscripts is a better judge of your writing than your mom, sorry.

2. Do they want someone to succeed?

They don’t have to want you to succeed. But negative nellies aren’t helpful to anyone. Casting agents may reject a lot of people, but it’s because they’re looking for the one.

3. Is it about you, or about them?

One type of feedback that has no validity whatsoever is unsolicited feedback from people who love to hear themselves talk. People who critique your parenting in the grocery store fall into this category.

Feedback can be helpful or crushing, choose your sources wisely. ]]> Fri, 17 May 2013 16:33:18 -0400 <![CDATA[ Dear Abby: Daughter may need to learn to share ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130518/CITYANDREGION03/130519177/1202 Dear Abby: I am the mother of a 5-year-old daughter I’ll call Mandy. Her father and I separated when she was 16 months old and now we are divorced. I am newly engaged to a wonderful man and very happy. I have just learned that my ex is having a baby boy with a woman he has stated he does not love and with whom he is not in a committed relationship.

I would like to protect Mandy from any pain this might cause her because she is a Daddy’s girl. How should I deal with this and maintain my composure regarding the sibling who will now forever be a part of my daughter’s life (and mine)?

– Stressed Out in San Diego



Dear Stressed Out: It is not appropriate to show your disgust with this situation to your daughter. Because your ex has gone on record that he doesn’t love the woman he impregnated, and he is not in a committed relationship with her, you may be worrying needlessly. He will have a financial obligation to his son, but whether he’s willing to be a father in the best sense of the word we don’t know.

If Mandy interacts with her half brother she will have to learn to SHARE, which is an important life lesson every child must learn sooner or later.Dear Abby: I work in the media and meet a lot of people. I have arthritis in my hands. I have always believed in a firm handshake, but I’m finding that receiving one is crippling my hand. I don’t want to appear unfriendly by not reciprocating a handshake, but I don’t want my hand to ache for hours on end after meeting someone. Any suggestions?

– Hurting in Dover, Del.



Dear Hurting: It would not be unfriendly to simply say, “It’s nice to meet you, but I can’t shake hands because I have arthritis.” Many people do, and it’s the truth.



Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com. ]]> Fri, 17 May 2013 16:33:13 -0400 <![CDATA[ TV critic class is now in session ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130517/LIFE/130519167/1202
And those are just from my friends.

Kidding. Well, sort of. I used to play tennis with the guy who implied I was a coward.

I should direct the woman who wrote the last comment to my therapist, who would explain I invent some flaws that I don’t really have.

Those readers have prompted me to explain how I see my role. Think of today’s column as one of the lectures I give to some of my college journalism classes.

My job essentially is to keep accountable the people in the media who think their role is to keep people accountable. Strangely, the people who hire reporters to put microphones in front of newsmakers often avoid tough questions themselves.

I also try to explain journalism ethics to readers who don’t understand what has been accepted media practice for decades.

I’ll start with the reader who called me a moron for criticizing Channel 2 anchor Maryalice Demler’s (nicknamed MAD on the station’s website) “obvious and unnecessary” commentaries.

He started by asking “Are you serious?” before noting “the irony” of my writing a commentary deriding Demler’s commentary. His comments are edited.

“Regardless of the topic at hand, your article objecting to her commentary is moronic,” he wrote. “There is a big need for the commentary. My mother, who is in her 70s, doesn’t read the newspaper. It doesn’t mean she is not intellectual, it’s just that she can’t afford it. She does watch the news. She respects Mrs. Demler. She has no idea who Alan Pergament is.”

He clearly doesn’t understand journalism. I agree more commentary is a good idea. But you don’t want anchors and reporters giving their opinions about the news they cover. That’s why you don’t see other anchors doing them in Western New York or most places.

Once upon a time, Channel 7 legend Irv Weinstein did some commentaries. But he was IRV WEINSTEIN!!!!. And he said hard-hitting things occasionally.

There is no “irony” in me critiquing Demler. It is in the job description as a columnist to give my opinions. For more of my views about Demler’s self-important commentary, I direct everyone to my recent blog with the headline, “It’s a MAD, MAD, MAD World,” in which I responded to Demler’s on-air response to my earlier column.

If you missed her amazing, egotistical defense, you missed one of the unintentionally funniest moments of the year. She used a photo of Will Ferrell in “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” as a prop and quoted Aristotle, who I believe was a TV anchor around 350 B.C.

Another reader was critical of a column in which I explained that Channel 2 had to let sports anchor Ed Kilgore go earlier than planned because he took a job to work for Buffalo Sabres Owner Terry Pegula and hosted a news conference for his downtown development project.

I called his hosting role a blatant and embarrassing conflict of interest because you can’t be an objective journalist when you work for the team owner in any capacity.

The reader wrote “you are worried about conflict of interest issues about TV personalities that really should not be an issue at all” because Kilgore wasn’t working for a government agency.

She noted that Kilgore had been at Channel 2 for 40 years and asked “how many TV personalities last that long here in the Buffalo area or for that matter anywhere in the TV world? Seriously, I believe you owe the man a public apology and maybe you should take a good look in the mirror and make sure you do not have any flaws.”

I didn’t care how many years Kilgore was at Channel 2 or how much the reader respects him. (Boy, people in TV get a lot of hero worship for no apparent reason.) It didn’t entitle him to break a cardinal role of journalism – you don’t work for someone you cover. You might have thought that Kilgore would have learned that in 40 years.

It wasn’t my decision to let Kilgore go early. Channel 2 management did because they knew it was the right thing to do, especially for a station that has a slogan that screams “it keeps people accountable.”

The guy I used to play tennis with wrote to say he was surprised that I didn’t write about a contentious Buffalo Sabres news conference in which team president Ted Black traded jabs with Buffalo News sportswriters Mike Harrington and Jerry Sullivan. The guy wondered if I was “afraid” to comment because the controversy involved the two News staffers. He added he didn’t see much of “a credibility difference between my role at The News and Kilgore’s at Channel 2.”

Actually, if I had written a commentary about the news conference, I would have been guilty of what I said Kilgore was doing. You can’t write about an organization in which you are a member, especially when you are paid by that organization.

I did critique The Buffalo News occasionally in the independent media blog I wrote while I was away from the newspaper. But I didn’t critique the newspaper in my first tour at The News and I won’t be critiquing it now.

I don’t critique the newspaper because I get paid by it. Kilgore couldn’t stay at Channel 2 because he wouldn’t have any credibility critiquing the team when he was being paid by the owner. If Kilgore praised Pegula, people would think it is because he is paid by him. In the same vein, if I wrote a commentary supportive of The News sportswriters after creating the Kilgore Rule, I wouldn’t have been able to disagree with anyone who called me a moron.

Journalism class dismissed.



email: apergament@buffnews.com ]]> Fri, 17 May 2013 23:19:41 -0400 Alan Pergament
]]> <![CDATA[ Save trees by stopping big mistakes before they get even bigger ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130517/LIFE03/130519293/1202
Some are based on myths and old-fashioned ideas, because in previous decades folks just didn’t know certain horticultural principles, or we didn’t have some of the plants and products we now have.

Some mistakes are ill-informed or copycat errors, because nobody took a horticulture course or did the homework. Sometimes mistakes happen because people don’t think about plants as living things and instead treat them like furniture. Not everybody is into plants.

What do all these mistakes have in common? Stopping the practice or fixing the mistake early will prevent trouble – or plant death – later. And continuing to do that same thing will definitely cause dire and costly problems. Let’s stop these mistakes now.

• Using tree trunks like telephone poles: Today I saw 12 heavy storm windows propped against a small tree, with a “For Sale” sign on them. They have been there for days, through wind storms, and surely their movement is scraping bark off the tree. I wanted to – but dared not – leave this note: “When you lean heavy things against a tree you are damaging the bark and the delicate vascular system just beneath it. This is somewhat like severing your arteries, and it will harm the tree’s health.”

A tree trunk is also the wrong place to nail or staple signs, banners or hooks for stringing lights. Every time you pierce the bark you are making a wound – a place where insects or diseases can enter. For the same reason, a tree trunk is not a romantic place for drawing a heart around sweethearts’ initials or honoring the Class of 1999. Those are nice sentiments expressed in a harmful way. Rent a billboard.

• Treating soil like gravel: Why do people tend to pile cinder blocks, lumber, stones, wood piles and mountains of mulch on the soil under trees? It is not as if the tree will keep those things dry. Nor is the soil under a tree better at bearing weight than, say, a concrete or gravel driveway, or perhaps a wooden platform out on the side lawn – where you can reseed after the project is over.

When you put weight on the soil under trees, you are compacting the soil and damaging tree roots. Unlike old beliefs, most tree roots do not grow downward – the taproot image.

Most tree roots are in the top 15 inches of soil, way out past the drip line, including lots of delicate ones in the top few inches. Heavy objects are smashing those roots as well as the air and water-holding capacity of that soil. Good soil is a porous substance, including air, water, minerals, organic matter and living organisms. It’s not gravel or concrete.

Once it is compacted, soil takes many years to regain its tilth. Even one pass with a vehicle under a tree does damage. And please, no parking under trees. You may not see damage from soil compaction and root damage immediately, because trees take a couple years to show severe stress, but these mistakes cause serious harm.

• Burying the bark: When it is covered by soil or mulch, tree bark cannot survive; it rots. Tree bark is made of cells that are different from the cells surrounding plant roots. That is why mounding the mulch up a tree trunk – “volcano mulching” – is not only useless and silly looking, it is also going to rot the tree trunk.

When you look at a planted tree, you should see the start of the “root flare” – where the root begins to reach outward – above the soil line. When you plant a tree, keep that root flare slightly above the soil line. And then do not let the mulch touch the tree trunk.

Instead, start the mulch a few inches out from the trunk, and limit the depth to 3 inches. Over the years, continue to pull back the mulch whenever it crowds the tree trunk. You don’t like layers of turtlenecks and woolen scarves tied around your neck, do you? Let the tree breathe.

• Not watering or shallow watering: This passive error can be just as deadly as taking an ax to the tree; it just takes longer to kill. A recently planted tree – “recent” meaning two or three years – must have your help to get water during dry periods, because its root system is still very small, relative to the size of the tree.

A 6-foot (small) tree may need 10 or more gallons of water per week, and rainfall rarely provides that much, even in spring. Ball-and-burlapped trees have had over 90 percent of their roots cut off. The water must be supplied to that small root area, regularly and deeply enough to penetrate all the roots.

Tree Gators (those green bags), if filled regularly, are great tools for supplying water. Daily, shallow watering is irrelevant. Deep, weekly watering is usually better, in proportion to the size of the root ball. Dig with a shovel sometime, after a rainfall or watering, to see how far the water penetrated.

• Strangling by staking: In windy areas it’s often necessary to stake recently planted trees. If it is not windy, staking is not a requirement; tree roots become anchors that hold trees in place. If you stake a tree, be sure to mark the calendar a year from planting with the reminder to remove the stakes and wires, tubes or ropes. Wind is natural; strangulation not so much.

A word to the wise: Now that we agree on these points, please be tactful as you pass the advice on to your partner or the neighbor with the rock pile under the elm tree. They just didn’t know.



Sally Cunningham is a garden writer, lecturer and consultant. ]]> Fri, 17 May 2013 07:57:05 -0400 <![CDATA[ Super Handyman: Tips for battling mosquitoes ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130517/CITYANDREGION03/130519301/1202
Mosquitoes need water, even a little bit, to breed. Make sure to limit standing water on your property. Areas where you might find standing water are in the trays around flower pots after a heavy rain or watering with a hose; bird baths; low spots on a sidewalk or driveway; or areas in a yard where drainage is poor. Add drainage to these areas, if at all possible.

Special mosquito “dunks” are small tabletlike devices, made of material that contains a biological inhibitor that will kill breeding mosquitoes and their larva. They can be put in standing water and will not harm birds or fish.

Another area where standing water can create a breeding ground is a clogged gutter. Clean out your gutters so they will not hold water.

There are a lot of different insecticidal sprays that you can use. All offer temporary control and are satisfactory for short periods of time when you need to work outdoors.

Citronella candles and oil lamps seem to help a little also. The oils and incense versions won’t blow out in the wind, so they are better in some situations.

The best personal protection should contain DEET. You have to use caution when using it. Read and follow the package directions. They even make clothing with insecticide in the fabric. This is available at some sporting-goods stores.

Wearing protective clothing, like long sleeves and long pants, definitely will keep them from biting, too.

Most mosquitoes seem to be more active at dawn and dusk, so try to work around their schedule, if you can.

...

Q: We have a great pedestal sink, but it’s yellow and I want to try painting it. What do I need to know? What type of paint will last the longest? – L.S.

A: Epoxy paint is what you need to use. You need to read the directions carefully first. It’s very important to get the best results. It’s a little time-consuming, but it’s the best option.

...

If you have spent a lot of time and money getting a piece of furniture to the stage where it’s ready for a good finish, don’t forget to clean it thoroughly with a tack rag. This special rag will remove any dust left over from sanding or just from sitting in your shop or garage while you work. You can buy tack rags if you like, but you also can make them fairly easily yourself. For instructions, download them off our website, www.thesuperhandyman.com.JHandles make carrying sheet materials like drywall and paneling a lot easier. They easily lock on to these materials (without a lot of maneuvering) and create a great handle to make carrying them a breeze – even in a breeze. One handle on each side means, with a helper, you can carry the material in one hand and your tools in the other. The handles keep the load balanced to prevent accidents, and can be used for a variety of materials. To find out more and where you can purchase them, go to www.jhandles.net. JHandles are proudly made in the USA.



Got a question or a handy tip? Send it to The Super Handyman at www.thesuperhandyman.com. Those of general interest will be used in future columns. ]]> Thu, 16 May 2013 16:29:06 -0400 <![CDATA[ Dear Abby: Be aware of RVs on the road ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130517/CITYANDREGION03/130519302/1202 Dear Abby: It’s vacation time again, time to hit the road in the RV. Please make your readers aware that people driving motorhomes, towing fifth-wheel trailers and travel trailer CANNOT stop as quickly as a small car or truck.

When people cut in front of an RV or a large truck and slam on their brakes, it puts many people’s lives in danger. There is a reason we leave that large space between our RV and the vehicle in front of us. It provides us room to stop as well as the ability to see what’s happening in the traffic ahead.

Your readers also should know that even though we RVers have mirrors and possibly rear video cameras, there are many blind spots – especially if the car behind us is following too closely or weaving in and out of lanes. The bottom line is: Be safe. Be courteous. Drive like your life and the lives of others are in your control because it is literally true.

– Happy Camper, Pasco, Wash.



Dear Happy Camper: I’m glad you wrote because I have received several letters recently, asking me to alert my readers about the risk of driving too close to RVs and fifth-wheel vehicles. Too many motorists don’t realize that it’s impossible to stop suddenly while pulling a load that weighs several tons. A word to the wise …Dear Abby: A woman here at work constantly asks to borrow money. The first time she did it, she caught me off guard and I gave her $20. The second time she sent me an email asking for a loan. I replied that I had only a few dollars. I’m not the only person she asks. Five other people in our department have told me she has hit them up too. One of them reported her to our HR manager, but it hasn’t stopped her.

To be fair, she did return the $20 I loaned her, but isn’t this akin to a hostile work environment? We all avoid her because we know she’ll ask for money, but we also have to work with her every day. Times are tough for everyone, and it’s irritating that she thinks she’s the only one with money problems. Is there anything we can do short of ganging up on her and telling her to leave us all alone?

– Also Feeling the Pinch in Utah



Dear Also Feeling the Pinch: The next time the woman asks for a loan, tell her you’re not in the loan business, and that you’re not the only one who feels put upon. Suggest that unless she wants to become an outcast she will stop asking for money because it has made everyone uncomfortable. If she persists after that, report what she’s doing to HR as a group.



Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. ]]> Thu, 16 May 2013 16:29:02 -0400 <![CDATA[ Carolyn Hax: Respect work of grandma ]]> http://www.buffalonews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20130517/CITYANDREGION03/130519303/1202 Dear Carolyn: My mother is a crazy cat lady. She has been doing better in recent years, down to 15 cats instead of 40 or 50, motivated by the arrival of her first grandchild, my son. We live on opposite sides of the country and it was too hard to travel when she had so many cats. I come home about twice a year and I stay elsewhere due to the odor in my parents’ house. Certainly not ideal, but we adjust.

I took the baby visiting when he was 8 weeks old and hardly saw my mom. She was busy “working” (unpaid) for her vet. I was hurt and angry but mostly ignored it and let her do her thing.

Today, I called and heard all of these kittens crying in the background. We’ve had numerous conversations about not having bottle-fed kittens when I visit. They have to eat every two hours and we would never see my mom! I mentioned that, she got snarky and said something about my having to bottle-feed my kiddo.

If she does have the kittens while I’m in town or chooses to work instead of spending time with us, what do I say? If she sees us every day, how do I express my gratitude without sounding critical, i.e., “It’s so nice you finally put us first!”? I’ve suggested counseling countless times over the years to no avail.

– K.



A: You’re showing a distinct bias – dogs forgive me – against cats and cat people.

I’m aware of the many animals/hoarding/animal neglect continuum, and 40-plus cats is extreme. However, your mom voluntarily reduced the herd, which suggests your “crazy” label isn’t just insensitive, but also unfair. If she takes good care of her animals, then treat these cats as you would anyone’s life purpose, to include asking yourself whether you’d be so dismissive if she were doggedly tending specimens in a lab or volunteering with needy kids.

You have a legitimate set of hurt feelings that your mom blew off you and her grandson. That is where your focus belongs, not on your disdain for the reason. That’s especially true since your overall goal is so important: to build a sense of family for your child.

Please start by recognizing that it’s not productive to force family togetherness or dictate how your mom lives her day-to-day life. If you think about it in a detached, advice-columny way, it makes no sense for her to rearrange all 365 days just for your, say, 10 visiting days.

Next, make “feelings, not felines” your guiding principle. Replace scolding your mom with praising her and clarifying your stance. Maybe: “I’ve been tough on you about the cats, but really what you do for them is wonderful. I’m just upset that we see you so little.” Respecting her will bring you closer than de-catting her.

And where before you’ve pushed her to change, try accommodating her: “What can I do to help you see more of us?” ]]> Thu, 16 May 2013 16:28:59 -0400