COMMENTARY
Rod Watson: Letting gays wed is issue of equality
It’s hard to be right and wrong at the same time. Perhaps only those who speak for the Almighty can accomplish such a miraculous contradiction.
Buffalo’s black clergy pull off the feat quite well in taking umbrage at comparisons between gays’ struggle for marriage equality and the civil rights struggle of African-Americans.
It’s a parallel that black Gov. David A. Paterson, among others, has drawn. He invoked icons Frederick Douglass and Harriet Beecher Stowe as he pushes a bill to let New York catch up with Iowa and four other states that have legalized same-sex marriage.
Even as political hyperbole goes, that’s over the top. But it’s hardly an isolated case.
From immigrants who came here voluntarily instead of fighting—as blacks did—to improve the land where they were born, to those pushing gender equity in the workplace, every marginalized group has tried to draft on the heels of the black civil rights movement.
Yet no group has endured on so large a scale, over so long a period, the enslavement, lynchings, mutilations, cross-burnings, legalized deprivations, second-class citizenship and worse that are the black experience.
Watching other aggrieved groups appropriate that history for their own ends, no matter how worthy, infuriates many who still live with the vestiges of America’s great sin.
Members of the black clergy—like other blacks—are justified in taking offense.
Where they’re wrong is on the underlying issue.
Put aside the “my suffering is bigger than your suffering” comparisons, and what’s left is blatant discrimination against gays. In a society that trumpets equality, the Empire State Pride Agenda counts 1,324 rights and responsibilities that come with the New York marriage license that gays are barred from obtaining.
If this were merely a semantic issue, I might side with the reactionaries. Men and women are different, so pick a different word and let equality reign.
But words matter.
The reality is that “marriage” carries a weight that “civil union” can’t match, despite lawmakers’ best efforts. Testimony last year before New Jersey’s Civil Union Review Commission revealed that no matter what’s on paper, when gay partners show up in emergency rooms, seek partners’ job benefits or try to exercise legal rights, they get thwarted by bureaucrats ignorant of the law.
Pride Agenda Executive Director Alan Van Capelle says it’s the same here. He said New York passed a partner’s-remains bill, but when one of the organization’s officers died, his partner of 35 years still couldn’t get an autopsy performed.
“The word that is understood is ‘marriage,’ ” Van Capelle said, adding that he asks a very simple question of those who think that another term will do: “Would you be willing to give your marriage up for a civil union? If not, why not?”
As for the fears of those who feel endangered by the bill, a word of advice: If you really think that gays’ wedding each other threatens your marriage, you should spend more time in counseling than talking politics because your marriage is pretty shaky to begin with. In fact, given the heterosexual divorce rate, allowing gays to marry might actually improve the statistics on family stability.
The Assembly has passed the measure, but its future is iffy in a State Senate still struggling with the notion of equality for all of God’s children. Opposition from black ministers won’t help.
Still, their outrage over the comparison only serves to underscore a common denominator between the two civil rights efforts: In the land of equality, it’s amazing we even have to have the debate.
Log into MyBuffalo to post a comment
MyBuffalo is the new social network from Buffalo.com. Your MyBuffalo account lets you comment on and rate stories at buffalonews.com. You can also head over to mybuffalo.com to share your blog posts, stories, photos, and videos with the community. Join now or learn more.
Reader comments
Learn more about our moderation system.