COMMENTARY
Rod Watson: The new tax-free me
So it appears that some lifestyle changes are in order. But don’t call this a midlife crisis. Call it a midyear crisis, since that’s about the time we—and the legislators who support it—will fully understand all the ways the $131.8 billion state budget will empty our pockets.
But why wait? I’m already figuring out how to dodge Albany’s tentacles as state leaders try to lift my wallet with their greedy little fingers.
Surely, there are ways to avoid paying any of the $8.34 billion in new taxes and fees. It will just take a little ingenuity and the willingness to make a few sacrifices.
Some Western New Yorkers already are getting into the spirit, as evidenced by those who showed up for the “tea party” protest last weekend. That was just the first shot.
I’m confident the next gathering will include all beneficiaries of the $170 million in “member items” that state legislators will pass out to enhance their popularity.
Taxpayers irate over “pork-barrel politics,” but who also run Little Leagues and groups such as the Buffalo Niagara Enterprise and the Buffalo Naval Park Committee, will show up to toss their budget allocations on a bonfire to demonstrate that their principles match their rhetoric.
Meanwhile, I’m pursuing my own protest as I plan for life without paying a penny more.
Grooming will be the first casualty. I’ll have to start cutting my own hair to avoid the higher fees my barber will send to Albany and then pass on to customers. Or maybe I’ll just worry so much that I’ll go bald.
My plans to start living off the land will have to be scrapped, since fees for a hunting license are going up.
Living off the sea is out, too. Marine fishing licenses are going up, as is the cost to register my little 16-foot fishing boat.
But I won’t be able to drive to the lake, anyway, since the state also wants to charge more for a driver’s license, a driver’s license photo, license plate transfers, auto insurance surcharge and vehicle registration. I’d need some auto industry bailout money just to afford to keep my car.
It’s enough to drive me to drink—except that they’re hiking the taxes on beer and wine.
And forget about H2O to quench your thirst; there’s a new deposit on bottled water, too.
I suppose the best way to weather this onslaught is just to stay in the house and pull down the shades. But it’ll cost more to heat the home in the winter and cool it in the summer, thanks to a $500 million surcharge on utility companies that will be passed along in the form of rate hikes.
But that’s OK, since I may have to give up the house, anyway. Repealing the STAR rebate check means I’d have to pay more to keep that, too.
As an unrepentant liberal, I wouldn’t mind all of this if I could see that government spending was actually doing some good to eliminate poverty and inequity. But you have to look no further than last week’s scathing audit of Buffalo’s antipoverty program to see that most of the money never makes it to the poor.
That audit covered a federal program, but does anyone think New York State is any more efficient as it hikes spending by 8.7 percent in the midst of a recession?
We need help! But who you gonna call? Remember, there’s a new surcharge on cell phones.
Meanwhile, I have a decision to make:
I can be homeless, carless, boatless, meatless, fishless, thirsty and cold. Or I can continue being a New York State taxpayer.
Which is worse? Don’t rush me. . . . I’m thinking.
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