COMMENTARY
‘T. O. Show’ is a television train wreck
The clock was approaching 10 p. m. Monday. The cable box was tuned to Channel 61. I got my popcorn ready. I was diving in full bore.
It was time for “The T. O. Show.”
So on the 40th anniversary of man walking on the moon, I was willingly entering the VH-1 debut of a new region of outer space—the “reality” world of Terrell Owens.
Yes, the quotation marks there are intentional.
This show is a train wreck. But what do they say about such scenes? You can’t stop looking at it. VH-1 is investing heavily in this debacle. By the time you read this column, the premiere will have already aired seven times.
The show features what should be dubbed Team T. O.: the star, his publicists/ friends Kita and Monique (Mo) and his bodyguard Pablo.
But it’s really about the self-indulgence of a completely pampered athlete. Frankly, I’m all for Kita and Mo keeping T. O. on the straight and narrow. We could all use Kitas and Mos in our lives.
Maybe that’s T. O.’s problem in the locker room: He doesn’t have Kita and Mo in there to tell him what to say or do—or to close his yap when he needs to.
Mo and Kita say this show is an attempt to rebuild T. O.’s image? Please. It’s a way to continue to push his image when it needs a boost. Check out some of these T. O.-isms from the premiere:
“This is my stage”—referring to the football field.
“I’m smiling cuz I’m handsome.”
“I’m the Eighth Wonder of the World.”
“There’s not too much that doesn’t look nice on me.”
That last gem was uttered while T. O. was trying on sunglasses at Tiffany’s— just before dropping $137,000 on diamond-studded earrings.
I know, I know. I can read the stat sheets too. Owens has posted more than 1,000 receiving yards in his last eight injury-free seasons and at least 10 touchdowns in seven of those.
Would you take 1,000 yards and 10 touchdowns from a Bills receiver this year even with all its potential baggage? Would I? You bet. No one has caught 10 since Eric Moulds in 2002.
This is a team that will be among the big preseason topics of the league even though it hasn’t played a single playoff game in 9 1/2 years . That’s all T. O. That’s why this weekend’s opening of training camp at St. John Fisher is so intriguing.
That’s why there was all this warped celebration in Buffalo in March when he signed and that bizarre airport reception in May. It’s why Team T. O. was rapping “T. O., let’s go, to the snow” in his Miami lair. Team T. O. needs Buffalo as much Buffalo needs Team T. O.
As Kita said early in episode I: “The plan is workin’ on the man.” Later on in the show, exasperated by his partying in Los Angeles, she quips, “We deal with Terrell. We don’t deal with T. O.”
Hmmm. Sounds like something Jerry Jones could have said.
By the merciful end of this infomercial, it was time for next week’s preview and a glimpse of T. O.’s airport arrival.
Also featured are his “sportscast” on Channel 7, a low moment in the history of a once-proud news operation, and his trip to the Albright-Knox Art Gallery, where Mayor Byron Brown gave him the key to the city.
Again, there have been better days for both the Albright and Brown. But if T. O. gets the Bills off the 7-9 schneid and into the playoffs, there will be plenty of room on the bandwagon.
So T. O., you get me for one more hour next week, just to see how the hometown looks. But that’s all. I’m signing off. Then I’ll be watching Sept. 14 in New England when it really counts. And that’s when I want to see all your real talking done.
I’ll have my popcorn by my side.
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