Dear Abby; Time to end bathroom bonding
Dear Abby: I need an unbiased opinion. I am the father of a 12-year-old daughter, “Lia.” She catches an early morning bus for school, and I leave for work at the same time her bus picks her up, so I’m in charge of getting her ready in the morning.
Although we have two bathrooms— one upstairs and one down—neither of us wants to use the downstairs bathroom to get ready. All our stuff is upstairs.
When I wake Lia up each morning, she heads into the shower and I go feed the dog. I then go into the bathroom and shave while she’s in the shower. While I’m shaving we discuss sports and life in general. When I’m finished, I leave until she’s done showering and goes back into her room. I then take my shower.
Is this wrong? Lia’s mother thinks it’s inappropriate for me to be in the bathroom at all while she’s taking a shower. I think it is efficient because neither of us is willing to use the other bathroom, and I find it’s a good time to find out what’s going on in her life. Who’s right?
—Right or Wrong in Wisconsin
Dear Right or Wrong: Your wife is correct. It’s not a matter of “right or wrong.” It’s a matter of what is appropriate.
At 12, your daughter is becoming a young woman. Either you or Lia needs to start using the downstairs bathroom. If you can’t agree on who that will be, then draw straws. You can bond with her over breakfast.
A rude, nosy husband
Dear Abby: My old college roommate “Gina” and I live several states apart, but we have remained close over the years. Whenever I call her, her husband picks up an extension and listens in. We don’t know he’s listening until he says something.
Other times, he’ll stand next to her and constantly interrupt her while we’re talking. He has his own friends and hobbies, and Gina does not know why he keeps butting in.
This three-way conversation is bugging me. Since Gina appears to be unable to tell him to cut it out, what should I do?
—Miffed in Madison
Dear Miffed: I see no reason why you shouldn’t tell Gina—whether her husband is listening or not—how intrusive you feel her husband’s eavesdropping is and that you would like your conversations to be private. After that, it will be up to her to decide where to draw the line.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P. O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Log into MyBuffalo to post a comment
MyBuffalo is the new social network from Buffalo.com. Your MyBuffalo account lets you comment on and rate stories at buffalonews.com. You can also head over to mybuffalo.com to share your blog posts, stories, photos, and videos with the community. Join now or learn more.
Reader comments
Learn more about our moderation system.