Accept love as it is given
Dear Abby: I have strong feelings about the word “love.” I use it only when I truly mean it. My husband’s family, however, bandies it about as a common word.
How does one respond when someone says “I love you” when you know he or she doesn’t mean it and is only saying it as a pleasantry? I hate saying it back to someone I don’t really love. I feel the phrase should be reserved only when you are saying it from the heart. Any advice on what I should say?
—Keeping Mum in Mississippi
Dear Keeping Mum: Because you are part of the extended family, and family is supposed to “love” each other, the expected and appropriate response would be, “I love you too, darlin’!” But since you can’t bring yourself to go that far, just coo in return, “And you’re such a love to say that!”
The gift of self
Dear Abby: I know it may seem early, but this is the best time to start thinking about the Christmas holidays. Can you offer suggestions on what to buy for family and friends? Money is tight in this economy, and lots of good folks are out of work.
This issue will present itself for everyone. What can parents buy or give to their children and vice versa?
—Looking Ahead in Vista, Calif.
Dear Looking Ahead: Money IS tight in this economy, and the unemployment figures are mind-boggling. For too long, every holiday has been turned into an opportunity to induce people to shop, shop, shop and buy, buy, buy. That’s why I’m suggesting we stop for a moment, examine what’s really important about the Christmas season, and focus on that instead of spending money.
The time has come to return to the basics. The most precious gift is the gift of self. A meaningful example of the spirit of giving would be to volunteer as a family to serve food, or collect and distribute toys and clothing at a shelter or program for people in dire straits.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P. O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069.
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