Computer is not all he’s hiding
Dear Abby: My boyfriend, “Beau,” and I moved in together and already we have trust issues. He doesn’t trust me around his computer. He said he has things on it that are part of his past, and it’s none of my business.
One of the things he doesn’t want me to see is “The List.” He keeps a list of all the girls he has slept with—including one-night stands. I have asked Beau how many there have been, but he doesn’t want to tell me “because it will hurt me.” He has revealed that it’s a number between 10 and 50.
I have asked him to delete the list, but he said that if he gets a weird disease in the future, he can always refer back to it. I have nightmares about this.
Should I drop the matter? —Unlisted Number in Texas
Dear Unlisted: No, honey. You should drop him. If Beau was simply afraid you would see how many women he has slept with and was trying to protect your feelings, he would print out the list and stash it in a safety deposit box. What he’s afraid of is that you’ll see the list is GROWING.
I don’t blame you for having nightmares. A man who is seriously worried that he’ll get a weird disease in the future is exposing himself and YOU to them now. So pack your bags, get out of there and schedule an appointment with your gynecologist ASAP.
A sudden demand
Dear Abby: My older sister, “Carole,” has been dealing with breast cancer for almost a year. Although my family and I live three hours away, we have always been supportive of her.
Last week, Carole called to tell me she’ll be going to Australia at the end of the year—a “reward” from her husband for everything she has been through. I was happy for her until she informed me that I would be taking care of her kids for two weeks while she’s on vacation.
I joked, “It doesn’t sound like you’re giving me any choice in this.” She replied: “No, I’m not. I went through cancer. I deserve this trip.”
I reminded Carole that when I watched her kids just two months ago, things didn’t go well. Do I have a right to just say “no” and offer my best wishes in finding a sitter? I feel guilty, but I don’t feel she’s entitled to demand this from me. Am I being a bad sister?
—Needs Resolution in the Mid-Atlantic
Dear Needs Resolution: Your reasons for declining your sister’s edict seem reasonable to me. You took care of her children before—it didn’t work out. You are perfectly within your rights to be firm with Carole and let her know she’s going to have to make other arrangements for her little ones while she’s on holiday. A perfect solution would be for them to be looked after by either set of grandparents.
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