The God Squad
Smart people can believe in God
Q: I’ve read your column for years and especially appreciate how you counsel tolerance and acceptance of all on their spiritual journeys. I’ve wrestled with a question about faith and would like your thoughts.
I was raised Southern Baptist but left the denomination when it went off the conservative deep end. I now consider myself mostly agnostic. Regarding faith, I see it as something you either have or don’t have. To believe in something is to know in your heart it’s true. Faith can’t be manufactured.
In any case, most of what I hear coming from religions flies in the face of science and logic, as I see it. I have to agree with Einstein’s comment about rejecting a religion that required him to check his brain at the door. If the Judeo- Christian god does exist, how can a just deity condemn me for lacking something I can’t create? I could sign up and pretend to be deeply religious but it would be a sham. I just don’t have that spark. How do the great thinkers reconcile this?—
W. from Carolina
A: Some religious thinkers, like John Calvin, agree with you that faith is a gift from God to only some people. Those given the gift have it the way some people have blue eyes. This view is a problem for people like me, who believe that a good God would not cut anyone out of the possibility of a life of faith at birth. It’s like saying that being a good person is an inherited trait and can’t be learned.
What I do believe about this Calvinist idea is that faith, like virtue, is harder for some to acquire than others. This has nothing to do with reason or science. Smart people, rational people, good people can be religious or not religious. Real faith doesn’t require you to check your brain at the door, unless you think Plato, Aristotle, Maimonides, Spinoza, Kant, Hegel, Einstein, and Francis Collins (the genome guy) were and are stupid.
So let’s dispense with the childish illusion that no smart people are religious and get to the heart of your question:How can a person having trouble with faith develop faith? I don’t know for sure. I’d ask yourself this question: “Do I really believe I’m just a bundle of chemicals— just a material being, or do I believe there’s a spiritual part of me that’s also real?” I also know if you’re asking the question with such intensity, you’re already on your way.
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Q: Recently, my in-laws’ health started to decline—memory loss, hearing loss, etc. My mother-in-law fell and broke her arm and is now in rehab. It was suggested that both of them move to an assisted living facility.
My father-in-law is 90 and my mother-in-law is 87. Their health was previously excellent and they enjoyed an active lifestyle. This sudden change is upsetting and confusing for them. My husband, his brother and sister are trying to make the right decision for their parents. My husband flew up to help out, while I remained at home. He said he’d be there about two weeks, which I feel is too long.
My husband was very helpful when my folks passed away. Mom was in a nursing home—a placement that was hard to make but right for us. I really can’t justify my feelings of being left out! Any advice?— L., Florida
A: My advice for you is to think more about the welfare of your in-laws than your own feelings of resentment. If you’re feeling left out, why not hop on a plane to be with your husband? You could remain respectfully distant from the decision- making.
The spiritual element of your question is how we can fulfill the commandment to honor our father and mother while at the same time recognizing our limits in becoming their caregivers. The key is to recognize what’s best for your in-laws. If the best choice (let’s say it’s for them to live with you) is impossible because you work or because their needs are greater than your strength, seek the second-best choice, knowing it’s the best you can do. That honors them and honors your limits at the same time.
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