college 101
College 101: Winter break a surreal feeling
My circadian rhythms are completely messed up. Coming home from college for a month-long break is a weird feeling, especially since all I wanted to do after a grueling week of exams and papers was fall into a coma on my bed for three days. The problem that persists is that I continually waste time staying up late, and then I end up sleeping past noon. Unless I have to work, much of my day is spent reading or mastering the art of being unproductive. At least doing nothing is even more fulfilling in the company of friends!
The surreal feeling of being home wasn’t as intense during my October or Thanksgiving breaks because they were short and I still had homework looming over my head. I realized a few days ago that this is the first time in years that I haven’t had anything to worry about – even past summers were brimming with assignments and college applications. It’s nice to be able to relax and take time to reflect on an amazing first semester of college.
On the other hand, I had been living in a bubble for several months at Hamilton, because it is a small, isolated school. What little contact I had with the outside world manifested itself in my occasional excursions to the sprawling small town of Clinton, N. Y., or in reading the New York Times online. Driving back to Buffalo without having such intimidating tasks as Proust or Spanish presentations occupying my mind allowed me to see that the City of Good Neighbors hasn’t really changed much.
For example, Buffalonians still take pride in their city. I had to come home a day earlier than expected so I would not get caught in the predicted snowstorm. The morning after, I woke up to blizzard conditions and smiled. There’s no other greeting quite like it. I happily told my college friends about the weather here at home, and I admit, I exaggerated a bit. But it’s only because I love my hometown and like to brag about it. Two of my friends at Hamilton are from Buffalo and both agreed they were most looking forward to Tim Horton’s and wings. That reminds me – I still haven’t had my loganberry fix!
In the midst of Christmas shopping, I went to the mall with my sister. I couldn’t believe the number of people we saw who we knew – but I encountered awkwardness along the way. Although I saw several old classmates, only a handful were genuinely friendly. Many averted their eyes or acted disinterested while we talked. I hope that it was just the time of year that was the problem ... it would be a shame if everyone was suddenly so involved in their new college life that they couldn’t take the time to smile at a familiar face. While it’s good to move on, I think it’s important to keep those ties with the people with whom you struggled through high school and maybe even middle school.
I am looking forward to an exciting second semester. Now that I know the ropes, I am fairly confident that the rest of the year will be easier socially, if not academically. (I am also hoping that my roommate will catch on to the benefits of spring cleaning.) I know that if I change as much I feel I have already, then by May Hamilton will have given me a wealth of experience and insight. That’s the paradox of coming home – I feel like everything, and nothing, has changed.
Allison Eck is a freshman at Hamilton College.
