Dear Miss Manners: Casual acquaintances of ours called and invited to “take” us out for drinks and dinner. We agreed, but were taken back when the bill arrived at our table and the host began dividing up the charges between both couples.

Caught off guard, neither my spouse nor I had enough cash on hand nor a major credit card. When we offered to pick up the tab the next time the four of us dined out together, there was no negotiating with them. We actually had to borrow the keys to their car and drive to the nearest ATM(3 miles). Meanwhile, they enjoyed a second round of dessert and coffee.

I would appreciate your assistance in clarifying the terms to an invitation recently bestowed upon my wife and I. Did I misinterpret the invitation?

Gentle Reader: You were taken, all right.

There is much confusion between invitations to take others out to dinner and suggestions to meet them at mutually chosen restaurants. But the offer to “take” someone out clearly marks the inviter as host.

These people, however, carried their ungraciousness to new lows. Miss Manners is only surprised that they didn’t charge you rent for using their car.

Dear Miss Manners: Could you please explain to me exactly what is appropriate when female attire should be a cocktail dress? I’m going on a cruise for my 20th anniversary, and the dress code is described as being formal for one night with the suggestion that the gentlemen wear tuxes and the ladies cocktail dresses.

I did look up the term on the Internet and explored some of the images at some of the online dress shops. All I can say is that the examples I’ve seen online don’t look very formal, and certainly don’t look appropriate for a woman in her 40s with a figure that can only be described as matronly!

Gentle Reader: And what is wrong with a matronly figure, Miss Manners would like to know?

It is odd that the term “cocktail dress” is still used, considering that no one has dressed up just for a drinks party since 1965. Still, it is preferable to the horrid oxymorons in current use, such as “elegant casual.”

What is meant is that you should dress up—luxurious fabric, jewelry, perhaps some tasteful decollete— but not wear something floor length.

Actually, Miss Manners wouldn’t worry too much about the dress itself. On shipboard, you will want a cover-up for romantic walks on the moonlit deck, and grown-up ladies look fine in scarves, shawls and stoles.

Dear Miss Manners: We have built our dream home and now are in the process of furnishing it. To my utter exasperation, my husband says that he doesn’t want any tables (side or center) in the family room, as he wants free range to horseplay with the children.

The room is quite large (so space is not an issue), we are well within our budget (so his opposition is not financial), and I have suggested wood tables as opposed to glass ones if safety is his concern.

He still refuses. I am upset because I feel it is inappropriate to entertain guests and ask them to put their glasses and plates on the floor, but my husband seems to see nothing wrong with this.

Am I being fussy? Is it commonplace to have no tables in the family room? This seemingly innocuous matter is turning into a contentious issue between us.

Gentle Reader: This is not the home furnishings department, but if Miss Manners can save a marriage, she feels she should. Put out folding tables when you expect guests.