Dear Miss Manners: My boyfriend and I have been house-and dog-sitting for our friends. They were kind enough to leave us money for food and to offer the contents of their pantry.

After three nights staying there, we are increasingly suspicious that this couple may have a flea problem!We agreed to stay overnight with their dog for five nights, which, of course, we will do.

What is the least hurtful and embarrassing way to bring this likely (and itchy!) problem to their attention? Should we call them on vacation to get the dog to the vet, or should we wait for their return?

Gentle Reader: What would you do while you were waiting? Scratch?

As Miss Manners understands it, you were left in charge of their house and their dog. It is true that you should not be making structural changes in either without their permission. However, if you suspect that they might want to keep their fleas, you would probably not have agreed to house-sit for them.

Courtesy at the checkout

Dear Miss Manners: Second to driving, I find that many of today’s infractions on courtesy occur in the supermarket or retail centers.

I was shopping with my infant son and stood at the service counter behind the second woman in line with her school-age daughter. Another sales clerk came into the service counter, looked at me and said, “I can help you over here.”

Since the first woman checking out was almost done, I went to the other side and placed my purchase on the counter —when the woman who was in front of me came over and pushed my purchase out of the way and said in a self-righteous manner, “I believe I was next.”

I felt offended and embarrassed, and simply apologized out of being dumbfounded by her boldness. Then I was angry at myself for not being more assertive.

Was I wrong to perceive the clerk’s invite as directed toward me and move to the opened register? If I were the person second in line, I do not think I would have even thought twice if the person behind me moved to the opened register.

Gentle Reader: Yes, you are wrong, but in your afterthought, rather than in your reaction at the time. Apparently, you now regret that you failed to contribute your share of supermarket rudeness to a situation you began by deploring.

First come, first served is such a well-known convention that even if you were certain that the clerk was addressing you, you should have said, “I believe that this lady is ahead of me.”

Notice that this is similar to the wording that the other shopper used; it is not in itself rude, although Miss Manners will take your word for the tone being unpleasant.

But after your mistake, you apologized, which was the polite thing to do.