Dear Abby: I’m a 14-year-old boy. I went to a party last weekend and some people pressured me to do some uncomfortable stuff. Can you advise me how to handle peer pressure?

—Ashamed in Illinois

Dear Ashamed: I’ll try. Please remember that it takes a strong and confident person not to follow the crowd and stick to your own convictions—especially when you want to fit in. But it is those who value their self-respect more than “mob” respect, who care about their reputations (and their records) who summon up the courage to say, “Thanks, but I’ll pass,” when enticed into doing things that are senseless, dangerous, illegal or immoral. It takes character to go it alone rather than follow the crowd, to listen to your conscience and act in your own best interests—but it pays off big time, especially when you see the price others pay for going astray.

Widen your circle

Dear Abby: I’m 31 and live in the Midwest. I have had the same friends since college and feel myself drifting farther and farther away from them. I feel guilty saying this, but all they want to talk about is their children. I have a wonderful 3-year-old daughter and another child on the way, but I have my own personality, too, apart from being a mother.

When I talk to these friends I’m pretty sure they don’t listen or want to respond to me unless I’m talking about “kid stuff.” Hanging out with them has become duller than watching paint dry. Am I the strange one because I don’t want to talk about my little ones all the time?— Feels Like a Freak in Iowa

Dear Feels Like a Freak: Right now, your friends are preoccupied with raising their children, with all of the milestones that go along with it. Eventually, they’ll pull out of it. Please don’t label them or yourself. What you need to do is recognize that it’s time to widen your circle to include more people who share your varied interests.