Dear Abby: I have been married to my second husband, “Greg,” for 3z years. Before we married, Greg took me out on dates, we had wonderful conversations and a satisfying sex life.

Now I spend every weekend cleaning, and when I clean the upstairs, Greg goes downstairs. If I clean downstairs, he goes upstairs. He says he loves me, but it seems we have become more like roommates than husband and wife.

Greg buys big-ticket items (big-screen TV and a computer, for example) without telling me. In fact, he never discusses anything with me. Do you think he married me only to cook and clean for him?

Before you suggest counseling, let me point out one more thing: Greg is a psychologist.

—Searching for Normal in Pennsylvania

Dear Searching: It appears you married a man who was terrific at sales and poor on follow-through. Because someone is a psychologist does not automatically make that person a good spouse, or parent—or evenaparticularly effective therapist.

You two have a serious communication problem. And I AM suggesting counseling, but not with anyone with whom your husband is affiliated in business.

Dear Abby: I was recently asked by a good friend to be one of his groomsmen at his wedding. Of course, I accepted.

For the bachelor party and wedding I have had to pay for travel, accommodations, etc. I spent $200 for the tuxedo rental for the wedding as well as additional expenses.

By the end of it I’ll have spent more than $1,000. Must I still buy my friend a wedding gift?

—Big Spender in Palo Alto, Calif.

Dear Big Spender: The answer is yes—but it doesn’t have to be expensive. According to Emily Post, among the basic responsibilities of all adult attendants is to “contribute to attendants’ group gifts to the bride and groom (and usually, give an individual gift as well).”