Dear Abby: I’m in a bit of a predicament because I lent my maternity clothes to a friend who is due in late December. Her husband lost his job.

I just found out that I am expecting and I am due in late April, and I have no idea how to ask for my clothes back without offending her or telling her I’m pregnant. (My husband and I aren’t telling anyone yet.)

I don’t think I should wait until I start showing—which could be soon, based on previous pregnancies—because she really needs them and I know I’d be leaving her with very little notice that she needs to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

—In a Bind in New Jersey

Dear In a Bind: Swear your friend to secrecy and explain that you’re pregnant, too. Then, rather than take all your clothes back, take some—and fill in your maternity wardrobe by buying yourself some new items.

You have the income in your household to do it. Right now, she’s “stuck”— so be a generous friend and don’t leave her naked.

Back to school, guilt-free

Dear Abby: I have been married 14 years and have four beautiful children. I want to return to nursing school and have for quite a while. I have been accepted to college, but my husband says he wants me to wait until our kids are out of school. Our youngest is only in the fourth grade.

I sometimes feel my husband doesn’t want me to better myself.

We have had a rocky relationship. He cheated on me three years ago and since then, my feelings are no longer the same for him.

Do you think I am being selfish for wanting to go to school?

This is something I would like to do without feeling guilty. Please help.

—Confused in New York

Dear Confused: Listen to your intuition. If it’s telling you you may need to prepare to be independent and provide for yourself and your children, then that’s what you need to do, and don’t feel guilty about it.

This may have something to do with the fact that your relationship with your husband has changed since you learned he was unfaithful. If your marriage improves— fabulous. But if it doesn’t, you won’t be left without a marketable skill —so go for it.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at

www.DearAbby.com

or P. O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069.