When Kate Resetarits starts to stress over her upcoming wedding, she remembers one thing. “It’s in Key West,” she said. “And no matter what happens, you can’t go to Key West and not have a good time.”

Destination weddings may relieve some of the stress of wedding planning, but no matter how exotic the location, there’s a reason why getting married is ranked No. 7 on the Holmes and Rahe stress scale list—one above getting fired.

“When you’re going through a wedding, you’re involved in a pretty intense level of planning and logistics, and people have different opinions on what you need to do,” said Don Goewey, author of “Mystic Cool,” a book that explores the phenomenon of stress and offers ways to manage it. “You have money issues, and on top of that you’re taking a huge step in your life, you’re joining together with another person.”

With vendors to hire, dresses to find and bills to pay, planning a wedding could unravel the calmest of brides. Keep your perfect wedding from becoming a perfect storm by allotting enough planning time—at least 12 months, experts say—to give you the best chance to snag the right vendors within your budget.

“You need to keep a good relationship

with your fiance. You need to empower yourself to state your opinion, and that oftentimes involves learning to say no — and you need to avoid family dramas,” said Goewey.

“The perception of threat — planning a wedding — floods our system with stress hormones, and before we know it we’re losing higher brain function,” he added.

Get in the zone

Hire a wedding planner and create a zone that will keep the stress monster at bay. You’ll still have to make some decisions, but a wedding planner’s time line can become a lifeline on the big day.

“A lot of people think they have enough time to do things, like invitations,” said local event planner Andrea Ball. “People will underestimate how long it takes to order the invitations. A lot of brides are doing things online, so make sure to double-check the turn-around time. How long will it take to do a sample?”

Sample invitations run from $10 to $20, according to Ball, who strongly encourages clients to sample as much as they can before placing the full order.

“The print could be crooked. It may not be the right color. The date could be wrong,” she warned. “Definitely get a sample of anything, including fabric swatches. Touch it. Feel it. Really look at it.”

Order your dress no later than four months before the date, and decide on bridesmaids dresses, too. Three months out, book your honeymoon. Six weeks out, mail your invitations, and, if you choose, write your vows.

Ball launched Signature Events in 1996, carving out a specialty in outdoor weddings after planning her own. Many of her clients, Ball said, come to her after doing research online.

“Some couples want to book everything themselves because, face it, planning a wedding is fun,” she said. “But when people go online, they get overwhelmed. A lot of brides need direction. They see a photograph, and they’ll take it somewhere and experience sticker shock. They didn’t realize what they wanted would cost that much.”

Not everyone can afford to include a professional planner in their wedding budget, but they may consider hiring a wedding day coordinator to track vendor commitments and make sure the events progress in the order they were planned. The key to coordination is a wedding day itinerary, according to Ball.

“It’s basically a time sheet detailing what is to happen when, and who is involved,” she said. “Who will move the flowers from the ceremony to the reception? Many things like that are overlooked. And make sure the itinerary goes to the important people, whether it be the bridal party, the limousine company or the DJ.”

Enlist friends

Calling on family and friends to help may be one of the best ways to avoid becoming a bridezilla, said one relaxed woman who will marry in July.

“I’m very laid back on the whole wedding planning thing,” said Meghan Crotty, 25, of South Buffalo. “One friend is doing the invitations. Another friend who is an accountant gave me a spread sheet to track detailed expenses. It has things you don’t even think about, like the $10 for an altar server. And my mother is handling the limousine.”

Just last week, Crotty said she made her toughest wedding decision yet, determining the color of the bridesmaids’ dresses. Several factors led to her selection of royal blue over pink, but Crotty admitted that one outweighed the others.

“First it was watermelon pink,” Crotty said, “but I’ve never been a pink person, and just having had a baby girl, I’m kind of pinked out.”

Keira Quinn was born in December and represents one of the milestones that Crotty and her fiance, Kevin Quinn, have passed recently.

“We had a baby. We bought a house. We’re getting married. I’m changing jobs,” Crotty said. “I make to-do lists, and nothing gets crossed off. My fiance said if I put something on the to-do list, it never gets done. I start new ones a lot.

“The hard part is sorting through the stuff that’s supposed to matter,” she said. “People put so much emphasis on getting the right flowers and dresses, the right centerpieces, and all I’m really concerned about is that we found a room big enough for all our family and friends. A lot of people want their wedding to be perfect, but I just kind of think that as long as it’s a good party, that’s good.”

Throwing a weekend party is what motivated Resetarits and fiance Merritt Hanson to plan their wedding for Key West, Fla. Approximately 80 of their relatives, including their 3-month-old baby Charlotte, will soon travel south for a series of celebrations including a night sail and beach party. Destination weddings decrease the number of details to be handled and provide a package of vending options including catering, music, flowers. The final touches — colors, music genre, food selection — are left to you.

“Am I stressed? Yeah, but not overwhelmingly,” Resetarits said. “It’s that nagging feeling that there are things to be done. We need someone to perform the ceremony. I need flowers. We need to solidify our plans for music. I have six weeks.

“If you dwell on details and if you make everything into a big production, you’re going to get stressed,” she said. “A lot of the details you think you need, you really don’t need, like welcome bags. We’ll just get people a map and tell them where to go, especially since we have to ship everything down there. At the end of the day, we’re just planning a party, and our goal is to have fun.”