At St. Michael’s right before Christmas, the confession lines were so long that they had to open a second confessional. Ha, ha! It was like at Target, when they open another checkout and say, “I’ll help the next person.” And the etiquette was the same, strangers telling each other: “You go.” “No, you go.”

The best was when we saw a guy in a Bills jacket emerging. Imagine his sins! “Bless me, Father.I knocked the other team. I waited until a Patriots fan was in the Porta-Potty and then I shook it.I threw eggs at New England’s bus.” No shortage of sins in Buffalo this time of year!

And counting

Our head is spinning—and we haven’t even had that first glass of New Year’s champagne. Number of times Buzz’s party got yelled at at Shanghai Red’s because we wouldn’t stop drinking wine and playing “The Christmas Song” on the piano: 3. Number of times they turned off the fireplace on us: 1. Santas we saw gathered late one snowy night in front of Colter Bay: 10. Angels we saw in Our Lady of Victory Basilica when we went there to see the Buffalo Choral Arts Society: 1,000. It’s true! The program said the big church had 1,000 angels, all with their eyes on us. Lo, we looked around and there they were, peeking from windows, friezes, up on the ceiling. Angels we have seen on high! They kind of make us nervous.

Teething

Art imitates life! TV imitates Buzz! With braces on our teeth since March 2007, Buzz is excited about them finally coming off this week—and now we see that Ugly Betty, on TV, is getting her braces off, too. Entertainment Weekly says Betty is meeting with her ortho in Wednesday’s episode, and her braces might come off then. “I hope she’s not going to go from nottie to hottie,” brooded one gentleman in an Internet forum. Wow, are people saying that about us? If so, perhaps our publicist could modestly reassure everyone the way Betty’s publicist did. “She’ll be a classier girl,” she promised. “But she’ll be far from perfect.”

The Buzz

Seen and admired at Curly’s in Lackawanna: Hibernator Long Trail Ale, with the tap adorned by a figure with a staff. Like us, fighting our way up our steps in the snow.Seen and admired in the Pizza Plant ladies’ room, a hot ’n’ heavy hand dryer called the XLERATOR. Its slogan: “Feel the power.” What a blast!

Quote

“If God made everything, He must live in China.”

—Family Circus