Q: Around the middle of June, my boyfriend of four years started shutting down and now he has slammed the door tight on us. I am so devastated!

He is on several medications—including one he increased weeks ago that is an antidepressant—and I am wondering how much this may have caused issues between us. Is there any hope left here?

—P. T., Southtowns

A: If you think about the early stages of falling in love, it can be equated with temporary insanity. Your brain is in overdrive, you find yourself thinking constantly, even obsessively, about the person, and you may even do things that are out of the ordinary as a result. Your heart beats faster when that person is around, and your stomach turns into knots when he touches you.

Love is a chemical reaction, and has everything to do with the physiology of our minds, bodies and souls, so when a drug is introduced that alters our brain chemistry, it’s very possible that it will have an effect on our ability to be in love, or at least feel love the same way.

Not everyone is affected the same way by antidepressants, and most people using them are able to maintain healthy, loving relationships.

The commonly known chemical involved in the rush of new love is serotonin, and this is the very chemical that becomes altered by many antidepressants. SSRIs (Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) are also used to control obsessive thinking, which is often a big part of budding romance.

According to research, these drugs are often prescribed to people suffering from bipolar disorder, depression, psychotic behavior/thoughts, as well as unexplained sadness or anxiety. There are some undesirable potential side effects to taking SSRIs, including loss of libido and general sexual dysfunction. That’s not to say that two people can’t have a loving relationship without sex, but the circuits in our brain that produce arousal and sexual interest are the same circuits that produce feelings of love and romantic attraction and attachment.

So basically, when our sexual desire is crippled, our ability to fall in love and stay in love could be jeopardized.

Many people taking SSRIs say they experience a sort of detachment from their emotions and describe the feeling as being “numb.” Some experience a general loss of interest, or loss of motivation to maintain friendships and relationships.

Figuring out the connection between love, sex, depression and antidepressants can be difficult. Depression alone can negatively affect relationships and sexual desire. Relationship problems can induce depression, and the drugs used to treat it sometimes cause negative sexual side effects.

In the case with your partner of four years, the time of year that he started detaching correlates with the time he started upping his dosage of the antidepressant. Without knowing any other details, it is difficult to predict reasons for his changes in attitude.

I would encourage you to have a conversation with him about the medication. Explain to him that you are confused about his recent detachment from you, and find out if he is experiencing this emotional numbness in other areas of his life. An alternative possibility to consider is that he has simply fallen out of love with you.