Dear Abby: I’m 15 and have a 6- month-old daughter who is my everything. Her father is 16, and he does drugs and drinks. He says he loves me and the baby, but given the choice, he’d rather be stoned or drunk at his friends’ houses than see his daughter.

I want him involved in our lives, but the only time he sees us is when I take the baby to his house. I won’t allow my daughter to spend the night with him because he smokes, and so does the rest of the family. I need your help. I don’t know what to do.

—Teen Mommy in Illinois

Dear Teen Mommy: It appears your baby’s father is in no condition to be a parent in any sense of the word. What you’re going to have to do is grow up quickly and realize that at the rate he’s going, he has no future.

Teenagers who spend their time drinking and drugging can’t study, can’t work and can’t hold a job. Whether your baby’s father will even graduate from high school is questionable. That is why it is doubly important for you to apply yourself to your studies and get all the education you can—because the odds are great that you will be supporting your daughter emotionally and financially until she’s an adult.

Some schools offer programs for teen mothers and dads. I urge you to reach out and find out what is available in your community.

Stand firm with warning

Dear Abby: Whenever I go out with my friend “Tara,” she is ALWAYS 15 to 30 minutes late. Regardless of where we are going or what we’ll be doing, she makes me wait.

I am a busy person. Tara does not work. She will call to let me know she’ll be late, but still I have to wait. She does this with other people, too.

I am so fed up with waiting for her that I have reached the point of no longer being willing to do it. What can I do about her inconsiderate behavior?

—On the Dot, Monroe, La.

Dear On the Dot: Give your friend a sweet, but firm warning. Tell her that when you make a date with her, you expect her to be ready at the appointed time—and if she’s not, you will leave without her. Then follow through.

Write Dear Abby at

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