About two years ago, Buffalo native Jeanice McMillan jumped at the chance to advance in life, taking a job as a Washington, D. C., Metro bus driver and later as a train operator.

The single mother was determined to give her only child every advantage. Anyone who knew her here would tell you she was destined to succeed.

That’s why it is so hard for her family and friends to comprehend the tragic news that the 42-year-old woman was at the helm of the train that slammed into the back of another train at rush hour Monday evening, killing nine people and injuring scores of others.

“I’ve known Jan since she was born. She was a beautiful child. She was determined to make something of her life. You could take a look at her and tell she was going to make something of herself,” said Lucinda Smith, a longtime friend of the McMillan family.

Federal safety investigators, who are searching for the collision’s cause, found Tuesday evening that the train failed to stop even though McMillan had pushed an emergency brake. The train was being controlled primarily by computer at the time of the crash.

Also, the train, part of an aging fleet, was kept running despite warnings to the Metrorail transit system in 2006. It is not yet clear if the train’s age played a role in the accident, federal officials said.

“Sad, sad . . . very sad,” Smith said. “I didn’t think it would come to an end like this, but God has us numbered. He knows exactly the date.”

Gerald and Betty McMillan, her parents, flew to Washington on Tuesday morning. Close behind were five carloads of relatives to assist the bereaved mother and father in the task of bringing home their oldest child.

“I can’t let my brother do this alone,” said Jeannette Pettway, McMillan’s paternal aunt.

In an interview Tuesday afternoon, Pettway said the family is still trying to get details on what caused the accident.

A day earlier, when they first learned of it, the aunt described a hectic scene at the McMillans’ Bailey-Delavan home, where only a month ago her niece had returned for a Mother’s Day visit that included a family cookout.

Summoned by her sister-in-law, Betty McMillan, Pettway initially thought another family celebration was under way.

“ . . . there were so many cars parked throughout the neighborhood Monday evening. I went in the house and said, ‘Wow, are you throwing a party?’ Betty pulled me in a room and said, ‘Jan got killed in a train wreck.’

“I fell on my knees and went to praying and crying. Gerry had fainted and was lying down,” Pettway said of her brother. “It was just a mess.”

Recalling the last time she saw her niece, Pettway said they had hugged and kissed, which was ordinary for this close-knit family.

She said McMillan left a job at the U. S. Postal Service for a better position with the Washington Metro system as a bus driver in March 2007; she was promoted to be a train operator last December.

“She was a wonderful working mother. She was putting her son, Jordan, through college. Jordan is in his second year,” Pettway said. “She was very glad to have the new job, so she could give her son a better life.”

McMillan, a graduate of Turner Carroll High School who also attended Niagara University, moved to Springfield, Va. about eight years ago to join her brothers, Gerald Jr. and Vernard McMillan.

But McMillan always stayed in close contact with her parents and friends in Buffalo.

Darrell Rowser, a 21-year-old Proctor Avenue neighbor, remembered her frequent visits and how he often spent summer days playing with her son as children on the quiet East Side street of well kept homes.

“We’d ride our bikes down the street and Jan would yell, ‘Get in the house’ when it was time to go in. She was a nice lady and a good mother. I’m sorry to hear about this loss. We’ll be there for Jordan. She was all he had,” Rowser said.

Frank Nelson Jr., who lives next door to the McMillans, said he has known McMillan her entire life.

“I wish I could have married her. I always used to tease her when we were young about getting married. She’d say, ‘Maybe one day, maybe one day,’ ” Nelson said.

In addition to her brothers and parents, McMillan is survived by her sister, Nicole, who is known as “Bright Eyes” by family and friends.

Funeral arrangements are incomplete, but plans call for services to be held in New Mount Ararat Temple of Prayer on the 900 block of Jefferson Avenue in Buffalo, where the family has worshipped since the 1960s.

Abe Glover, a church member and close friend, stood outside the church Tuesday afternoon trying to come to terms with the accident that has taken such a toll on the local and Washington, D. C., communities.

“It’s tragic to this community and this church. Words can’t even describe it. A son who is without a mother, but I know she has left him with some wonderful memories,” Glover said.

jmay@buffnews.com and lmichel@buffnews.com