Veterans Day brings moments of reflection
Generations apart, 2 with war service gain honors at special time
Michael R. Militello has known the horrors of war, the pain of a lengthy recovery from bullet wounds and the lack of respect for American soldiers returning from the Vietnam War some 40 years ago.
Army Capt. Kathryn MacFarlane Graves, some 35 years younger, who served in Iraq for 15 months, wondered whether young students could appreciate the sacrifices and dangers faced by those in the military.
But on Tuesday — the day before Veterans Day — both Militello and Graves, two soldiers from vastly different generations, received meaningful symbols of the public's appreciation for their efforts.
Militello, 62, received some long-overdue honors when Reps. Brian Higgins and Chris Lee presented him the Purple Heart and five other medals for his service in Vietnam.
That brief ceremony, at a luncheon in Militello's Sonoma Grille in Snyder, served as a symbolic thank-you to the approximately 175,000 veterans living in Western New York, and Veterans Day provides an opportunity to honor and give thanks to more than 1 resident in 10 throughout the region.
"While we honor one veteran today, we honor all veterans for the sacrifices they have made," Higgins, a Buffalo Democrat, said before Tuesday's ceremony honoring Militello. "That's why this nation pauses every Nov. 11 and honors those who have fought for the freedoms we enjoy."
"He's an American hero," Lee, a Clarence Republican, said before a gathering of about 40 of Militello's relatives and close friends.
Earlier in the day, Graves, who, as Katie MacFarlane, was named Buffalo News Basketball Player of the Year in 1999-2000, tried to put herself in the young students' shoes as she stood in polished black boots and her dress uniform at Clarence Middle School.
Could they understand and be grateful for what veterans do?
Graves, a Clarence High School graduate and member of West Point's class of 2004, quickly figured out the answer. She listened to students sing "America the Beautiful." She watched as four eighth-graders held up a gift they had made of a patchwork blue-jean quilt embroidered in red with "We're proud of you!"
Students really did seem grateful. Being deployed as Graves was for 15 months in Iraq can be hard and lonely, but also rewarding. When she's gone, she knows that her family and friends are thinking of her, but the good wishes of strangers add another important morale boost.
"Maybe I'll get cold, and I'll take it to Afghanistan with me," she told the students. "You may not think making a quilt is a big thing, but to me, it is."
Later, Militello, a well-known local restaurateur, proudly wore the Purple Heart pinned to his suit coat, as he was asked what the public could do to honor veterans on their designated day.
"Tell somebody, "Thanks for your service,' and look in their eye when you do it," Militello said. "That's the only way you can look into their soul. And don't say it unless you mean it."
Militello is recognized as a successful businessman and entrepreneur, but few know about his wartime experiences in Vietnam.
Drafted into the Army in 1968 while attending the University at Buffalo, Militello went right to the front lines in Vietnam.
On Aug. 13, 1968, Militello was caught in an ambush, shot twice through the left leg and once through the right leg by a machine gun and an AK-47 assault rifle. Then a grenade left him temporarily blind in his right eye.
Surgeons and nurses fought to save his legs. He was treated in Army hospitals in South Vietnam and Japan, before he learned how to walk again while holding onto the walls of a racquetball court in a Valley Forge, Pa., military hospital.
Like many other combat veterans, Militello, for all his success, still deals with the physical trauma from his wounds. And, like many, he doesn't wear that trauma on his sleeve.
Four decades after being wounded, he still has to spend at least three hours a day with his legs in a raised position.
"My wife, Marilynn, has helped me through the dark corners that many people outside this room don't know about," he said. "They don't know about it, when they see me bouncing around."
Though eligible for a Purple Heart, Militello never pursued the matter.
This summer, Higgins was chatting with former Erie County Sheriff Thomas F. Higgins, when he learned about Militello's combat record. A few days later, the congressman saw Militello, who was wearing shorts, and noticed the scars.
So the congressman's staff researched the matter, found out that Militello was eligible for the Purple Heart and five other decorations. Higgins and Lee then worked together to set up Tuesday's ceremony.
"I think it speaks to the humility of the American veteran," Higgins said. "Even though they are deserving, they [often] don't pursue it."
But that doesn't mean that veterans and soldiers don't appreciate the thank-yous. Even letters from strangers are important, Graves said.
"It kind of puts you back in touch," she said. "Letters are never outdated. Never stop writing letters."
Graves, an intelligence officer who will soon be training in Arizona for a possible stint in Afghanistan, made a special trip home this week to receive the quilt in person.
She is one of three Clarence High School graduates now serving in the military who have earned quilts from the family and consumer science class. The two others, both members of the Class of 2005, will get their quilts in the coming months: Justin J. Lex, an Army sergeant serving in Germany after a year's tour in Iraq, and Cindy Bosinski Bindert, an Air Force medic in Afghanistan.
"I am so grateful to my hometown for remembering the veterans," Bindert wrote in an e-mail. "Knowing that there are people back home who are grateful for our service makes deployments a lot easier."
Family and consumer science teacher Tracy L. Lane came up with the quiltmaking as a class project last year. She wanted to help her students do community service and thank veterans without spending much money. Collecting jean donations seemed like a good way to gather material.
Lane said she thought the students were surprised that the fruit of their efforts actually was given to a real person.
"It was worth it," she added.
This was just the beginning. She intends to work with classes to patch together more quilts, maybe one a year.
Doing something for people serving in the military did feel good, said student Dina Rommel, 13, who decorated her quilt patches with buttons, making a smiley face and a star.
Fellow student Mason King, 14, also got a kick out of Tuesday morning's quilt presentation.
"I felt happy to give it," he said.
gwarner@buffnews.com and mkearns@buffnews.com
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