Are you ready to skip some football? Game-day alternatives
This Sunday, the Bills kick off their 2008 season by taking on the Seattle Seahawks. And you? You don’t care. Well, you might care just a little, enough to check out the score so you know whether your co-workers are going to be jubilant or dejected on Monday. But other than that, nope.
You don’t watch the games. You certainly don’t go to the games. Where you do go:
• The golf course: They’re blissfully deserted as the early birds wrap up their 18 holes by noon to be in front of a TV at 1.
• The grocery store: Avoid the rush for chips, subs, beer and frozen pizza at noon, and you’ll be golden.
• The movie theater: Matinees are like private screenings on days the Bills hit the field.
• Any restaurant: Choose one without a TV, and you not only will be shown right to a table, you’ll have your server’s undivided attention.
Experienced non-Bills-watchers know these tricks. But even the old reliable options can get dull after a while. So here, for the 16 games the Bills will play in the regular season, are suggestions for specific things you can enjoy instead.
There’s also a bonus suggestion for the bye week. For you non-Bills-followers, that’s the day the golf course, grocery store, movie theater and restaurants are mysteriously crowded again.
Week 1: Sunday
The Bills face the Seattle Seahawks at home starting at 1 p. m. You will face a heaping helping of peach shortcake at the 51st annual Niagara County Peach Festival in Academy Park, Lewiston. It runs from 11 a. m. to 10 p. m. Sunday. There will be live entertainment and carnival rides, as well as many food selections, but the shortcake is the star. You can see the Peach Blossom contest from 2 to 4 p. m. and stay for the crowning of the Peach Queen after 8 p. m. For more info, www.lewistonkiwanis.org/peachfest.html.
Week 2: Sept. 14
At 1 p. m., the Bills are on the road, playing the Jacksonville Jaguars. You hit the road too, enjoying a day in Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ont. You can stroll and shop, dine and catch a play at the Shaw Festival — “The President” starts at 11:30 a. m. in the Royal George and is a bargain at $27. Three plays — “Getting Married,” “The Stepmother” and “Wonderful Town” — take the stage at 2 p. m. Tickets are $69 and up. For more info, www.shawfest.com.
Week 3: Sept. 21
The Bills host the Oakland Raiders at 1 p. m. While the Bills bury Oakland, you take a tour at Forest Lawn cemetery. At 10 a. m. or noon, you can learn about the 1901 Pan-American Exposition in a 2ø-hour program that begins at the Buffalo & Erie County Historical Society, then goes by bus to Forest Lawn. Or choose the noon 90-minute nature walk in Forest Lawn. Tickets for the Pan-Am tour are $25 per person; tickets for the walking tour are $15. Details at www.forest-lawn.com.
Week 4: Sept. 28
At 4:05 p. m., the Bills take the field against the St. Louis Rams. While guys bond on the field, you gather some girlfriends and go see “Girls Night: The Musical” at Shea’s Smith Theater at 2 p. m. It’s the story of five best friends who look back at their shared pasts as they enjoy a raucous night at a karaoke bar. Tickets cost $45. For more info, www.sheas.org.
Week 5: Oct. 5
At 4:15 p. m., the Bills visit the Arizona Cardinals. Arizona has nothing on Newfane, where the annual Harvest Festival will be in full swing from 10 a. m. to 5 p. m. at the Hrvol House Museum Grounds at Ide Road at West Creek Road, Newfane. The festival includes historical displays, demonstrations, a Civil War encampment and miniature working models, as well as chicken chowder, pies, beef on weck, apple butter and cider, music from 1 to 3 p. m. and dancing by the Country Liners at 12:30 p. m. Free. More information on www.olcott-newfane.com.
Week 6: Oct. 12
Bye week! You do whatever you want, all day, which might include checking out the Ellicottville Fall Fest from 10 a. m. to 5 p. m. For details, www.ellicottvilleny.com.
Week 7: Oct. 19
At 1 p. m., the Bills face the San Diego Chargers at home. You take a box of tissues to a matinee of “The Secret Life of Bees,” which opened two days earlier. Starring Queen Latifah, Dakota Fanning, Jennifer Hudson, Alicia Keys and Sophie Okonedo, it looks like a faithful adaptation of the popular Sue Monk Kidd novel.
Week 8: Oct. 26
At 1 p. m., the Bills face off against the hated Miami Dolphins. You seek the comfort of a brilliant Spanish clarinetist, Jose Franch-Ballester, who will play at 3 p. m. in Kleinhans as part of the Buffalo Chamber Music Society’s Young Artists’ series. Best of all, it’s free. For info, bflochambermusic. org.
Week 9: Nov. 2
At 1 p. m., the New York Jets hit Ralph Wilson Stadium. Hearing about Ralph makes you want to appreciate some other spry old folks. You’ll see them at 2 p. m., as the Silver Sizzles Revue closes its run in the Bears Den Showroom at the Seneca Niagara Casino. The veteran performers, all age 50 and up, offer dancing, singing and comedy with audience participation. Tickets are $15; anyone under 18 must be accompanied by an adult. For info, www.senecaniagaracasino.com.
Week 10: Nov. 9
At 1 p. m., the Bills are on the road, playing the New England Patriots. You show your patriotism by touring the Buffalo and Erie County Naval and Military Park at the foot of Main Street. The park closes Dec. 1, so now’s the time to see the USS Little Rock, the USS Croaker and the USS The Sullivans, as well as helicopters, jets and a tank. Admission is $8 for adults, $5 for children and seniors. For info, www.buffalonavalpark.org.
Week 11: Nov. 17
At 8:30 p. m., with a national audience watching, the Bills host the Cleveland Browns for Monday Night Football. You grab the remote yourself and settle in for an evening of TV. HGTV features a new documentary, “My Big Amazing Renovation,” starting at 8:30 p. m., in which homeowners take a regular house and transform it with massive renovations. It’s followed by “Hidden Potential” and “House Hunters.” The Style Network will be televising an episode of its new reality series, “Ruby,” which follows the weight-loss journey of a Savannah woman who weighs 500 pounds. The History Channel, Animal Planet, TruTV and A&E are also good bets for absorbing programming that doesn’t involve football.
Week 12: Nov. 23
At 1 p. m., the Bills visit the Kansas City Chiefs. It’s four days before Thanksgiving, so Martha Stewart is harvesting her place cards, which are gourds she scratched guests’ names into back in the spring. You, on the other hand, go to UB’s Center for the Arts at 2 p. m. to see the celebration of 35 years of diversified choreography by Zodiaque Dance Company. Tickets are $17.50, with students and seniors paying $9.50. Tickets at ticketmaster.com.
Week 13: Nov. 30
At 1 p. m., the Bills are at home against the San Francisco 49ers. You aren’t home; you are at Shea’s, where you watch in awe as the Rockettes (precisely, and with eye-high steps) kick off the final performance of the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. Tickets (from $27.50 to $67.50) to see the entertainment extravaganza go on sale next Friday at the Shea’s box office. For more dates, www.sheas.org.
Week 14: Dec. 7
Toronto is the venue when the Bills take on the Miami Dolphins at 4:05 p. m. You see fish, too, only yours have fins and gills and you don’t want to squish them. Spend the afternoon at the Aquarium of Niagara, 701 Whirlpool St., Niagara Falls, where you can also see penguins, seals, sea lions and sharks, as well as hundreds of other aquatic creatures. Admission is $9.50 for adults, less for children and seniors. Check out www.aquariumofniagara.org.
Week 15: Dec. 14
At 1 p. m., the Bills visit the New York Jets. You visit the Buffalo Indie Market’s Holiday Market on an upper floor of the Pearl Street Grill & Brewery. Local artists and crafters offer juried handmade wares that usually include jewelry, pottery, paper goods, handbags and clothing. The market, which includes prizes, musical entertainment and interactive workshops, is held from noon to 5 p. m. on the second Sunday of every month. Admission is free. For more info, www.buffaloindiemarket.com.
Week 16: Dec. 21
The Bills visit the Denver Broncos, taking the field at 4:05 p. m. But you don’t care — at 2:30 p. m., the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra will present its always popular holiday pops concert. The fun and funny concert usually includes an audience sing-along and an on-stage appearance by a round and jolly Santa Claus. The orchestra is led by Conductor Robert Franz and supplemented by the angelic voices of the Buffalo Philharmonic Chorus. Adult tickets range from $34.50 to $76.50. Get tickets at www.bpo.org.
Week 17: Dec. 28
The last game of the regular season sees the Bills hosting the New England Patriots. You hit the malls to make your returns and exchanges — the salespeople will be better rested and less stressed a few days after the stampede. And you can also snap up the remains of the post-Christmas sales.
Now, about that postseason ...
