ABC’s extensive promotional campaign for “The Deep End” is about as subtle as Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace.

As the promos suggest, the series about first-year lawyers is an attempt to do a legal version of the popular medical and relationship series “Grey’s Anatomy.”

It is loaded with attractive young characters in Los Angeles competing in a tough business, compelling them to make some tough ethical calls that test their humanity. It premieres at 8 p. m. Thursday on Channel 7.

Unfortunately, the script is loaded with BIG pronouncements about the law and life, and none of the actors have the charisma of a McDreamy, McSteamy or Meredith.

The cast of first-year lawyers thrown into “the deep end” to swim with veteran legal sharks is so young and beautiful you could be watching a CW series. Matt Long is Dylan, who is on a custody case. Leah Piper is beautiful blond Beth, who has an ethical dilemma concerning an aged client. Ben Lawson is the handsome Brit, Liam, who has the libido of David Duchovny’s character on “Californication.” Tina Majorino is the naive, smart Addy, who needs to get a backbone. Mehcad Brooks, the fifth newcomer, is barely introduced in the pilot.

The so-called adults or veterans include Billy Zane as senior partner Cliff. The so-called “Prince of Darkness,” Cliff is the one character stereotype that isn’t on “Grey’s”—a guy who doesn’t seem to have a conscience. He is married to a hot partner, Susan (Nicole Ari Parker), and spars with the firm’s humanitarian partner, Hart Sterling (Clancy Brown). Norbert Leo Butz is Rowdy, who wants to mentor the “children” behind the backs of the other adults.

The less-than-subtle pilot script doesn’t do justice to the overriding message—that big firm lawyers frequently have to strike a balance between what is ethically right and what pays huge bills.

It is a message that CBS’ “The Good Wife” has delivered much more effectively and believably this season.

And there is one ridiculous OMG moment in a “Deep End” plot about a widow who is trying to keep custody of her son in a dispute with her powerful mother-in-law (played by Kate Burton, who played Meredith’s mom of “Grey’s”).

As in “Grey’s,” sex is on the minds of just about all the lawyers and life lessons are offered. Well, “shouted” is a more like it.

Here are some of the cliched lines that had me diving into the deep end:

“I told you to manage expectations.”

“I know I dropped you in the deep end. Until you learn to swim, I promise to be your mentor.”

“A problem is just an opportunity in work clothes.”

“You better, or I’ll make sure you never practice law again.”

“No one takes me seriously around here.”

“It is what we do in the worst of times that tells the world who we really are.”

“The man doesn’t choose the moment, the moment chooses the man.”

Puh-lease. Seriously, “The Deep End” kills any great expectations because it contains too many moments that try too hard to be meaningful.

Rating: 2 stars out of 4

‘Damages’ returns

FX’s “Damages”—which returns at 10 p. m. Monday—exposes an even darker side of the law. Glenn Close stars as a manipulative high-powered attorney, Patty Hewes, who has her own set of ethics.

In its third season, the Em-my-nominated “Damages” is fictionalizing the Ponzi scheme case of Bernie Madoff. Hewes is trying to find money for the victims of the scheme while her former protege, Ellen Parsons (Rose Byrne), is now working for the district attorney’s office. The regular cast also includes Tate Donovan as Patty’s aide.

As usual, a strong group of veteran actors is on board, including Len Cariou as Louis Tobin, the Madoff-like fraud; Martin Short as Tobin’s attorney; Campbell Scott as Tobin’s seemingly ethical son; Lily Tomlin as Louis’ wife; and Keith Carradine as a character whose relevance is undefined.

Constructed like a novel, “Damages” gets off to a slow start while establishing the season-long plot and its constant jumping between the past and present can make it as confusing as “Lost” at times. Those who missed Patty’s manipulations in the first two seasons and don’t understand her style may be lost, too.

However, it is interesting to see Short and Tomlin in serious roles that play against type and one big twist in the first two episodes compensates for the slow pace and the confusion.

Rating: 2 and a half stars