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Tuned in but tapped out

It seemed the entire neighborhood was at Larkin Square on Wednesday for “South Buffalo Night.”

But perhaps the Larkinville brass underestimated the part of the city that really likes to party.

Turns out, the record crowd of 5,000 guzzled down all of the beer that was on hand, and well before the band had even started its last tune.

Fortunately, there was a remedy for the crisis.

It came in the form of a Try-It Distribution beer delivery truck – barreling down Exchange Street with, of all things, a police escort.

Blurred lines

The thousands of University at Buffalo students waiting in line Thursday to see President Obama more or less formed one large, blue blur.

Still, the huge group of beefy undergrads in sweatsuits stuck out as this year’s football squad. The players were clearly excited to be at the historic event, though perhaps for different reasons.

“Is it because they didn’t have to go through their morning workouts or because the president of the United States is here?” head coach Jeff Quinn asked. “I suspect it’s a little bit of both.”

Good-humored man

As we get closer to fall, it becomes nearly impossible to avoid the ubiquitous specter of candidates campaigning at outdoor summer festivals.

Watching candidates press the flesh at these events might as well be a spectator sport. Paul Crapsi, a Democrat running for Erie County Family Court judge, might be an inspiring example, as he was observed on two successive Sundays working the crowds at the recent Pine Grill Reunion in Martin Luther King Park.

Crapsi was tireless in the heat and even had his little daughter in tow. While greeting potential voters, the candidate did everything but dance to the music as he moved from blanket to blanket, demonstrating a sense of equanimity and good humor.

Even the occasional sniggering at his name didn’t fluster him or get him down.

“I know, funny name,” Crapsi was overheard to say to one giggler.

One for the team

Divorce cases bring their own special challenges for judges, as State Supreme Court Justice Richard C. Kloch Sr. noted recently while presiding over the split of a Niagara Falls couple whose case landed on his court calendar.

By the time the bitter argument was over, Kloch was shouting at the husband to shut up or face being jailed unless the man agreed to make a $1,250 maintenance payment to his ex-wife within 24 hours.

“I love matrimonial law. Can’t you just smell it in the air?” Kloch said.

The woman’s attorney informed the court that the man, although he hadn’t made the payment to his formerly beloved as scheduled, had recently sold a sports memorabilia collection for $75,000.

“Obviously there were no Buffalo Bills or Buffalo Sabres items in the collection, or the value would have been greatly diminished,” Kloch said.

Overendowed, under arrest

Walmart security said a woman who was accused of stealing breast enhancers may have given herself away by leaving the store wearing the evidence.

According to a female security officer, Karen A. Kostyo, 36, of Lockport-Olcott Road, Lockport, entered the store with a large purse that appeared empty and small breasts.

Four hours later, she left the South Transit Road store with noticeably larger breasts and a larger purse.

Kostyo was charged a day later at her home after Niagara County sheriff’s deputies tracked down her vehicle. She told deputies that she was on psychotropic medication and didn’t remember what she did.

According to security, Kostyo was observed going into the ladies room with a box of breast enhancers that had not been paid for. She was charged with petit larceny and released on her own recognizance.

Off Main Street is written by Harold McNeil, with contributions from Charlie Specht, Thomas Prohaska, Mary Kunz and Nancy Fisher.