Dear Abby: I’m 15. Yesterday, they told our class that one of my friend’s parents had died suddenly. Every single person in our grade cried, except for me. I felt bad about not crying for my friend’s loss, but I just didn’t.
Another friend told me that last night people were texting, and it had been mentioned several times that I wasn’t crying and that it looked like I didn’t care, even though I do. I feel bad about not crying, but I don’t want to lie and say that I did. Please help me.
– Dry-Eyed in Colorado
Dear Dry-Eyed: If you feel that any explanation is called for, simply say that when you heard the news you were so stunned that you couldn’t cry. Your reaction is very common. When bad news is conveyed, some people are just struck numb. Believe me, not everyone who can cry on command is necessarily grieving.
What’s the right thing to do?
Dear Abby: I have been dating someone over the last two years and our relationship has had a lot of ups and downs. We are in our 50s and we have both been married before.
The problem is, he thinks he always has to be right. He’ll never admit to being wrong. We love each other and spend most of our time together, but every time we have an argument, he calls our relationship off. I am always the one who calls to patch things up. Should I let this relationship go once and for all?
– Tired Of The Drama in Atlanta
Dear Tired Of The Drama: Yes, I think so. Your gentleman friend has an unhealthy way of dealing with conflict. Unless your idea of a happy marriage is one in which you are always the peacemaker, I doubt it would last.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 60069.