Dear Abby: I am 19 and a new bride. My husband is in the Army. We’re very happy, but I just found out that I’m pregnant – I’m not sure how far along yet – and I feel torn about what to do. My husband wants a child very badly, but he did say he would support whatever decision I make. While I have no objection to having a child, I know my family will make me feel guilty if I do by saying they are disappointed, that I should have waited and that I’m “throwing my life away.” Abby, I am so confused. I don’t know what to do. I want my family to support me and be there when I have our first child.
– Pressured and Confused
Dear Pressured: Was your family disappointed and saying you were throwing your life away when you married your husband? If the answer is no, then why would they accuse you of doing so because you are pregnant? You are an adult, albeit a young one, and a wife.
The first thing you need to do is see a gynecologist and find out how far along you are. Your next step is for you and your husband to decide if you are emotionally and financially ready to be parents. No one can decide this for you, but your family’s possible “disappointment” should not enter into your decision.
Friends don’t act like this
Dear Abby: I have friends who exclude me or take off with other friends before I can get to where they are meeting. What can I do to get them to call me? Why am I their whipping post?
– Friend-Challenged in Overland Park, Kan.
Dear Challenged: Friends don’t treat friends the way you are being treated. There is nothing you can do to get them to behave differently. You are letting them do this because you’re hoping that if you ignore their insensitivity and rudeness, they will accept you. Please stop trying to cling to them. Join activities where you’ll meet people with whom you REALLY have something in common. If you do, you will be much happier than you are today.