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Dear Abby: I have been seeing my boyfriend, “Casey,” for a year. He has said throughout our courtship that we could get married in four to five years. Over the past couple of months, he has become distant and less romantic. I drive four hours to see him almost every week.

On one of my recent visits, Casey said he NEVER wants to get married! When I asked what had changed his mind, his response was that he has decided that marriage is a trap. When I asked if he still wanted to be with me, he said yes.

I don’t want to waste my time if he’s not going to marry me, but I really want to be with him. Do you think he’ll change his mind again, or is it time for me to end things?

– Waiting and Hoping in Maryland

Dear Waiting and Hoping: If you’re doing all of the four-hour commuting, you’re not only waiting and hoping, you are also doing most of the work in your relationship with Casey.

You didn’t mention how old you both are, but it appears Casey has some growing up to do. Marriage isn’t a trap; it’s a partnership. And like any strong partnership, there is commitment involved.

If Casey isn’t up to making a commitment and marriage is what you’re after, you should save the wear and tear on your car and the expense of the gas and find a man who is less gun-shy.

Topless in Macy’s

Dear Abby: Well, here is a new one on me. I was walking through a Macy’s looking for my wife, and right there in front of me was a 40-something woman in her bra trying on a blouse! Please tell me – is this the new normal?

– Greg in Gainesville, Fla.

Dear Greg: It’s unusual, but not unheard of, particularly if all of the dressing rooms are in use. To prevent this from happening again, avert your eyes when you’re in the women’s department.