Dear Abby: I have been in a relationship for two years. We gave each other our phone passwords as soon as we made it official to avoid keeping things from each other.
One night I had a sudden urge to go through his phone. I had never done it before, and when I looked at his Facebook messages, I saw he had been exchanging inappropriate pictures with someone. I was shocked and angry, and it almost ended our relationship.
I haven’t noticed any other red flags, but now, when he’s asleep or goes somewhere and leaves his phone at home, just looking at it upsets me. I’ll put a pillow or a blanket over it so I can “forget” it’s there. I don’t know if I should take another peek to make sure he’s staying on the straight and narrow, or if ignorance is bliss.
– Unsure Guy in Texas
Dear Unsure Guy: Ignorance isn’t bliss. Being able to trust the man you’re with is, and if it turns out you can’t, it’s better that you know sooner rather than later.
Dear Abby: I’m 39 and have been married for 12 years. My wife is 35. When we first got together, my wife did not want to have kids right away. She said maybe after I graduated from college, or perhaps we could adopt. It took more time because of some surgeries, but I have graduated now and I want to start a family.
She now says she thought I was kidding when we were talking about it all those years ago, and that I knew she never wanted kids. I am at a loss.
– Wants To Be A Dad in Charlotte, N.C.
Dear Wants To Be A Dad: You either accept that you will be childless, or talk to an attorney about divorcing a woman who appears to have deceived you. How sad!
Dear Abby: I was engaged to my ex-girlfriend for three years. We broke up more than a year ago – her choice.
My question is about the engagement ring. Should I ask for the ring back or let it go?
– Moving On in Kentucky
Dear Moving On: When your ex-girlfriend broke the engagement, she should have returned the engagement ring. That she didn’t indicates she is either ignorant regarding the rules of etiquette, or that she plans to keep it regardless of what the custom is. (If it’s the latter, you’re fortunate to be rid of her.)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 60069.