Dear Abby: I’m 16 and I need help. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, “Bailey,” for six months and things are complicated. She’s very insecure, and it’s hard to keep her happy for any extended period of time.
I have thought about breaking up with her because I want her to be happy, and the same goes for me. But then I think I’d rather be miserable at times and happy at others and be with her, than end it and possibly feel worse.
Please give me some advice. I love Bailey and I don’t know what to do.
– Lost in Arizona
Dear Lost: Have a talk with Bailey and tell her that although you love her, her insecurity and mood swings make it difficult. If you do, it may give her something to think about. The problem with insecurity is it can eventually drive a boyfriend – or girlfriend – away when it becomes smothering.
P.S. There is truth to the saying that you can’t MAKE someone happy; happiness has to come from within.
Keep your mouth shut
Dear Abby: My niece confided in me that she and her fiance eloped. Her parents are planning her wedding for next month. I tried to advise her to tell her parents, but she still hasn’t. She’s living at home and her “fiance” lives in a different city.
I don’t pretend to understand why they felt like doing this. Should I just sit back while she continues to lie to her parents while they plan on her getting “married” in a month? I’m at a loss.
I wanted to give her a chance to come clean, but because she hasn’t, do I intervene? Do I threaten that if she doesn’t fess up, I’ll spill the beans? Or should I just let her keep heading down the road she’s on?
– Anxious Aunt
Dear Anxious: What do you think you will accomplish by breaking your niece’s confidence? If you divulge what she told you, she will never trust you again. I’ll give you my advice in four words: Keep your mouth shut.