Dear Abby: My sister died suddenly. She hadn’t been ill, and it was a shock. Although she tried hard to have a relationship with me over the years, I had trouble relating to her and we weren’t close.
I am sorry to say that I never took the time to get to know her. I’m left now with many questions about the sister I always had, but never really knew.
As her next of kin, I’m responsible for packing up her things, and I came across several journals. I’d like to read them because I feel they would help me to understand her better, but I also feel it might be disrespectful to go through something of hers that was so personal.
What do you think? Would it be wrong to read them? I wish I had her here to talk to instead of journals to snoop through.
– Regretful in Oakland
Dear Regretful: I’m sorry for your loss, and your regrets. Because you would like to know your sibling, I think you should read her journals. While it’s sad that you have to make her acquaintance in this way, it would be better than never having known her at all.
Dear Abby: I’m a secretary who happens to make really good coffee. An employee who works in the building likes my coffee and has made himself comfortable at my desk in the morning before he starts work and afterward, before his second job.
I am not comfortable with this. He has become a fixture in my office and I need it to stop. How can I go about this without hurting his feelings?
– Not His Barista
Dear Not: From where I sit, it looks like the man may have a crush on you. Because you want less of his company, tell him you need to get your work finished, and that his presence at your desk is distracting. Tell him you’re flattered that he likes your coffee and he’s welcome to a cup, but he needs to drink it elsewhere. If you say it pleasantly, his feelings shouldn’t be hurt.