Dear Abby: I’m considering marrying a man who is divorced. We get along great, and I love and trust him. Is it ever appropriate to call the ex and discuss her side of the story? Or should I ask my boyfriend what she’d say if I were to contact her?
– Covering My Bases in California
Dear Covering Your Bases: If you call the ex, you can count on hearing something negative about your boyfriend or they wouldn’t be exes. Also, the things the ex might consider to be flaws may be the qualities you love best about him.
That you would say you love and trust your boyfriend, and in the next sentence indicate you’re considering a chat with his former wife, makes me wonder how deep your level of trust is. However, if your gut tells you to do some digging, then you should listen to it – even if it results in an argument, which it probably will.
Daughter’s stuff still around
Dear Abby: I’m proud of my daughter, “Celia.” She has a master’s degree, a successful career and is soon to be married to a wonderful man.
Through three moves my wife and I have cared for our daughter’s one-ton-plus of “stuff,” which includes the big dollhouse her grandpa built, her doll collection, high school and college memorabilia, her diaries, dishes for her future home, etc.
When she visited, I’d ask her to sort through the boxes and throw some things out. Didn’t happen. My wife and I have downsized to a condo. The room that was supposed to be my “man cave” is half-filled with Celia’s things. It is TIME!
Should I request that our daughter pay for storage, or rent a U-Haul so I can deliver a one-ton-plus “wedding gift”?
– Disgruntled Dad in Washington State
Dear Dad: I can think of few things that would destroy the ambiance of a man cave more than a dollhouse. With a successful career, your daughter can afford to pay for a storage unit for her memorabilia. Set a date by which it must be out of your condo, with the understanding that if it isn’t, YOU will dispose of it. You should not have to deliver it to her. You have been patient long enough, and the responsibility is hers.
Don’t wait to date
Dear Abby: I’m a 58-year-old male. My wife divorced me last year after 33 years of marriage. Must I wait the recommended seven years before dating? I heard I must wait one year for every five I was married.
– Ready Or Not in Michigan
Dear Ready Or Not: I wonder where you heard that! The answer is no. At 58, you had better start soon. You’re not getting any younger.