Step 4: Devour
About your Thanksgiving appetizer: In The News’ Sunday coupon supplement, Hillshire Farms tells you how to turn your L’il Smokie (a mini-hot dog) into a football player. The helmet is an olive. ... Tops’ bakery department just turned up the heat. They have rolled out the Doissant, described as “a delicious marriage between a donut and a croissant.” May they go forth and multiply! ... Meanwhile, Cooking Light showed up in our mailbox, pleading with us to desist. They even set up a Support Center for How to Control Portions. Hello! This is a Buffalonian you’re talking to. Now get off our phone, so we can call Butterball.
To make up for all that chowing, you have to cut calories somewhere. And so there is one thing we mourn about the emptying of HSBC Tower, and that is the looming liquidation of the world-class collection of diet pop curated by snack stand proprietor Ahmed Alhadhari. Buzz considers ourself something of a sommelier of diet pop, and we have complimented Alhadhari on his cellar, which just the other day included Diet Pepsi, Diet Dr. Pepper and Diet Pepsi With Wild Cherry (connoisseurs taste the subtle difference); Diet Squirt, Diet Mountain Dew and the rare Diet Vernors. Just when we were trying to talk Alhadhari into still more acquisitions – Shur-Fine Diet White Birch Beer, perhaps – the tower has to close. Aw, gee.
Dead on the air
It’s been fun having Michael Caputo on WBEN-AM, filling in for first Sandy Beach, then for Tom Bauerle. His political stance – well, we really don’t care. We only care that he talked about was the Grateful Dead. “Everyone knows I’m a lifelong Deadhead,” Caputo said, multiple times. He led off one show with “West L.A. Fadeaway.” He reminisced about the hundreds of times he had seen the Dead, and the summer he trekked around with Ratdog, Bob Weir’s band. There was the time Caputo’s then-girlfriend was stolen by Weir’s bass player, and Caputo got a call from Weir, who was trying to make peace. A juicy story! Buzz listened up. And he kept giving away tickets to Ratdog, playing Shea’s on March 4, 2014. That’s how many months away? Anyway, so much fun. With the normal hosts back on the air, we’ll miss this flower power.
How do I love the Bills? ...
Let me check the score/I love the pass defense, the coaching calls, Byrd’s interceptions/The Jets’ defense breach’d when field goals the wild winds do tame, And to the Jets, we put the screws and pains. Pretty good poem, huh? Kaisertown poet Lynn Shaftic-Averill wrote that midgame, with apologies to Victorian poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning. ... Elsewhere on the football field, right about now, Eric Mower and Associates should be starting to have second thoughts about firing Robert A. Hopkins, the plunging Bills fan. That company is all about publicity, and who has ever gotten more publicity than this guy?
Donating to the North Buffalo Goodwill, Buzz handed the attendant a liquor store box and said: “This box is full of clothes.” He sighed: “No one ever brings us a case of wine.” ... Going to the World’s Largest Disco? Be warned, advises the latest bulletin: You could wind up on TV. “Translation: if you’re cheating on your significant other at the event, your mother-in-law may be watching!”
– Entreaty on the websiwte of Buffalo’s Freudig Singers