One death in particular resonated across the nation because of its haunting poignancy. Beverly Eckert, who saw her husband, Sean Rooney, die when the south tower of the World Trade Center collapsed on Sept. 11, 2001, was on her way back home to Buffalo, her birthplace, to celebrate a few special events.

She was flying into Buffalo on a high note. Just last week, she had met with President Obama in Washington, for a discussion of the detainee situation in Guantanamo Bay.

The meeting was more public recognition of Eckert’s high-profile role as an advocate for victims’ families in the wake of her husband’s death.

Eckert was impressed with Obama. She saved the napkin from under his drinking glass as a souvenir, and bragged to friends about it.

“I sat right across from Obama at the meeting,” she wrote in an e-mail to some friends, “and although I took a photo of him, I opted not to use the flash on my camera since that would have been rude. So this is a really blurry photo, but you can still tell who it is.”

The admiration was mutual. Obama was clearly impressed with Eckert — a slight, blond woman known for her tailored clothes, her love of home renovation projects and pottery-making, and her unstoppable drive and determination.

Obama called Eckert a “tireless advocate for the families, those whose lives were forever changed on that September day.”

“I pray that her family finds peace and comfort in the hard days ahead,” the president said during a news conference Friday morning.

Eckert, 57, a resident of Stamford, Conn., was bound for Buffalo in anticipation of two events she always looked forward to: a gathering with her family and Rooney’s, in commemoration of what would have been Sean’s 58th birthday on Sunday; and a ceremony at Canisius High School in which she was to award a student with a memorial scholarship in honor of her husband, an alumnus of the school.

“She was an extremely intelligent, competent person. When she was faced with what she faced, and saw a reason to do something, she put her many talents toward that,” said Karen Eckert of Amherst, Beverly’s sister. “But she wanted balance in her life, too. She said, ‘Every day is precious.’ ”

Eckert's work for the families of 9/11 victims in the years following the terrorist attacks made her a national figure and authority on the issue.

Friends were stunned by the idea that Eckert had died in a way that paralleled her husband — a fiery plane crash.

“I think there’s great irony,” said Pamela Germain, a vice president at Roswell Park Cancer Institute and close friend of Eckert’s. “Sean died with thousands; she died with dozens. The unique circumstances under which they both perished — it’s a puzzle. I can’t pretend I’m reconciled to all this.”