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It appears we no longer have to be on pins and needles wondering if Bass Pro is going to meet Rep. Brian Higgins' Monday deadline to sign a lease.

But had the deal come to fruition, we have a pretty good idea of what Mayor Byron W. Brown would have had to say. Or at least what Bass Pro would have claimed he said.

Just go to Bass Pro's Web site and see two press releases announcing new stores, one for East Peoria, Ill., the other for Harlingen, Texas. The mayors of each town apparently think alike -- very alike, according to the virtually identical three-sentence statements Bass Pro said they issued.

"There is no other retailer in America like Bass Pro Shops," stated East Peoria Mayor Dave Mingus. "Their one-of-a-kind destination retail stores attract an average of 3 million people a year to each store. Typically, when Bass Pro Shops comes to a city, they attract more businesses which create more jobs, more taxes and a better community. We are thrilled they chose to be a part of our progressive city."

Interestingly, Harlingen Mayor Chris Boswell said the exact same thing about the coming Bass Pro, according to the company Web site, save for one word; he described his city as "great," rather than "progressive."

Now we're left to wonder what word would have been used in the Bass Pro news relase to describe Buffalo.

Meanwhile, we can only imagine some of the words city officials would use today to describe Bass Pro.

Not your average juror

Several staffers in the Erie County Commissioner of Jurors office were flustered Thursday morning when U.S. Attorney William J. Hochul showed up in their office. (Who wouldn't be?)

They quickly calmed down and were amused to learn that he had been called for duty as a prospective juror.

As Hochul sat quietly in the jury pool, a woman who recognized him asked if he was conducting an investigation of local court corruption. Hochul was heard to reply: "No ma'am, just doing my duty."

Several lawyers also were surprised to see Hochul walk into 25 Delaware Ave., site of the juror waiting room and local courts as well as the Erie County District Attorney's Office.

After several hours, he was dismissed from service without being questioned by any attorneys for upcoming trials. He was politely advised by the Jury Commissioner's staff that he was welcome to volunteer for duty over the next seven years before he is called back again.

In the heat of the fight

Prior to announcing his plan to downsize the State Legislature, civic leader Kevin Gaughan -- whose downsizing crusades have earned him the enmity of local politicians -- and media members bantered on Tuesday about the recent heat wave.

"It was so hot this morning," Gaughan quipped in his downtown office, "that I spent most of the time fanning myself with hate mail from politicians."

Gaughan should have no trouble staying cool. Those fan-convertible cards and letters should keep coming.

Ribbon cut-up

People Inc. recently held a ribbon-cutting ceremony at the Holly Apartments in Angola for its newest senior housing development. Kevin Horrigan, spokesman for the agency, said one local official couldn't resist using the occasion to take a shot at area towns fighting such projects.

In the past year, both Orchard Park and West Seneca have debated the merits of affordable housing for seniors. Advocates of the projects say the opposition is really a misguided fear that "affordable housing" will evolve into slums and a crime increase will follow.

With that in mind, Stephen T. Banko III, director of the Buffalo office of the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, looked out at the crowd of elderly residents at the Angola event and said: "I am glad the Town of Evans Police are on hand today. From what I hear, you people can get a little unruly."

Mark Sommer, Matt Gryta and Donn Esmonde contributed to Off Main.

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