Just when you thought there was nothing to do around here, . . . The Holiday Inn Grand Island will be filled this long weekend with married folks who have sex with other people’s spouses. The doors are swinging open for “Entice the Falls,” an annual swingers convention billed as “Four Days of Wicked Temptation.”

There is a predictable cry of protest from a local minister. Elected officials, nervous about voter backlash, are making fretful noises.

Granted, a hotel filled with wife and husband swappers undoubtedly offends some people’s sense of decency. I would be willing to guess that what goes on behind the doors of any hotel in America, on any given night, offends someone’s sense of decency. Especially if that someone was not invited.

OK, I am just kidding. There is a difference between meeting randomly in a hotel lounge and a planned, organized, paid-in-advance convention of folks who are coming for one reason—to have sex with somebody else’s husband or wife.

To which I say: If folks can stimulate the economy around here by stimulating each other, then let the recovery begin.

Filling a 263-room hotel on an otherwise slow October weekend pads plenty of paychecks. On midwinter weekends, I have been to Buffalo hotels that were so empty, it looked as if somebody had pulled the fire alarm. If booking swingers conventions puts heads in beds, even if the heads and beds change throughout the night, it may be time to rethink this.

Given our proximity to Niagara Falls, America’s self-proclaimed romance capital, maybe we are turning our backs to the naked truth: a potential niche market in swingers conventions.

I called Drew Cerza, interim head of the Buffalo Niagara Convention&Visitors Bureau, to ask whether luring swingers might become part of the marketing strategy. Cerza responded with an empathetic: “No. We’re sticking with art, architecture and history.”

Hey, I tried.

The swingers convention does not bother me any more than a convention of cops, teachers, lawyers or nurses. In fact, some folks coming to the swingers-only weekend are cops, teachers, lawyers or nurses.

Yes, it is true: Folks who may live near you, work with you or sit in the same row at a movie theater are in the “lifestyle.” They just do not let anybody know. To my mind, that puts swingers— in terms of societal openness—in about the same place that homosexuals were a half-century ago.

Swinging—it’s the “new gay.”

A local female swinger I spoke with, who did not want her name used, said events such as the Holiday Inn convention happen all the time, though usually on a smaller scale: hotel get-togethers, banquet room rentals, house parties.

“It’s mildly frustrating for us because society does not approve,” she said. “It’s like the gay and lesbian lifestyle used to be. Because this is just coming to light, society wants to force it back into the closet.”

I see her point. On the other hand, commandeering a Holiday Inn for a long weekend seems to me like a giant leap for swingerkind.

Holiday Inn officials have assured people that there will be no sex in the pool, hot tub or any place where food is served. This may disappoint swinging guests intent on replicating the Susan Sarandon-Kevin Costner kitchen table scene in “Bull Durham,” but it comes as a relief to the rest of us.

The swingers lifestyle is not for everyone. But there is a “No Vacancy” sign this weekend at the Holiday Inn Grand Island. Some folks likely are already signed up for today’s Flogging 101 seminar and Saturday’s Couples Massage workshop.

If a co-worker shows up Monday sporting a lash mark, be sure to ask whether he or she had a nice weekend.