Ryan Lacey is in jail right now, but he sees himself as the lucky one.

This is the message he shares these days with those who dare to drink and drive.

His latest audiences include those under court order to attend a victim impact panel for drunken drivers in Niagara County.

Lacey, 22, of Lockport, wears an orange jail jumpsuit and shackles as he speaks -- and he doesn't talk alone.

"You never think you can be involved in anything like that," Lacey said. "You are not thinking about that when you are drinking. You're not thinking about hurting someone you love."

Seated beside him are his parents, along with the parents of his former girlfriend, Kristina Moley, the 19-year-old passenger who died in a crash last summer when Lacey was at the wheel.

"You always think, 'It's not going to happen to me,'" he continues. "I know now that it can happen to anyone."

Lacey and his loved ones are the latest to join the ranks of those willing to share their anguish with people caught for alcohol-related driving offenses in Niagara County.

Theodore A. Brenner, the prosecutor who oversees the panels, and the panelists, recently gave The Buffalo News permission to sit in on a gathering. Lacey was unable to attend but agreed to an interview in the County Jail.

Lacey said he tries to fill up as much time as he can playing cards and on work crews at the jail. It's hard to think about the future, or what happened the night of July 21, 2009, when he lost control of his sport utility vehicle on Ruie Road in North Tonawanda.

He and Moley, his girlfriend of 2 1/2 months, were drinking with friends in the hours beforehand.

"The four of us shared two or three pitchers of beer at JT Wheatfields after I got out of work," Lacey said. "I felt like I was fine to drive, but everybody says that. Obviously, you can't make that decision after you've been drinking. We were going to a friend's house, maybe two minutes away, right around the corner. The last thing I remember is turning onto Ruie Road."

His blood alcohol level was 0.11 percent, not that far above the 0.08 percent legal limit for intoxication in New York State. He was driving at twice the posted 30-mph speed limit. He suffered a concussion in the crash, but the impact didn't hit home until the next day, when he heard the word "manslaughter" connected to his name on the news.

"I had everything going for me at the time," he said. "A great girlfriend, a good job, a new vehicle. Everything was falling into place in my life. Everything finally felt like it was right, and one night, one second, everything changed. I lost everything."

"I'm going to have to start my life over when I get out," he said.

Lacey in recent months has drawn strength from what some might think an unlikely source, Moley's parents, John and Lynn Moley, of Wilson.

"Their not hating me and being able to forgive me has made a huge difference," he said.

The Moleys appeared in Niagara County Court and persuaded a judge to sentence Lacey to local time in the Niagara County Jail after he pleaded guilty last October to criminally negligent homicide and driving while intoxicated. Lacey, who originally was charged with vehicular manslaughter, was sentenced in January to a year in jail. He could have received up to eight years in state prison.

As part of his sentence, he is required to speak at the victim impact panels. He also has volunteered to speak to high schools and colleges in the area.

His goal is to help others avoid making his fatal mistake.

"I knew something good had to come of this," Lacey said.

Niagara County started its victim impact panel in 1994. Every county in New York State now has one.

Brenner, a deputy DA and former Marine, runs the panel presentations in Niagara County. He checks in the more than 100 people who are forced to attend in any given month and barks out orders at them to sit down and shut up. The tone in the room changes quickly as panelists begin to share their stories.

"Everybody wants the legal system in New York to be tougher," Brenner told The News, "but the victim impact panel is another side. It's designed to reach their conscience."

Lynn Moley, wearing her daughter's favorite hat, passed around photos of the fatal crash scene at last month's victim panel. As she spoke, she held her daughter's bright green purse, which could clearly be seen in the crash photos.

It's been more than a year, she said, and she and her husband still sleep with clothing that contains traces of their daughter's scent. Lynn Moley also wears the necklace her daughter wore the night she died. It was given to her in DeGraff Memorial Hospital, still sticky with her daughter's blood.

John Moley started his story exactly 20 years before his daughter's crash, when his brother lost his wife and niece to a twice-convicted drunken driver in California. He recalled returning home from caring for his mother, who was hurt in the West Coast crash, on July 21, 1989, to his wife, who was then six months' pregnant with Kristina.

Lynn Moley, through tears, then told the group about the phone call she got on July 21 of last year that changed their lives, lifting up a giant portrait of Kristina in a favorite hat.

"I had a beautiful daughter," she said. "This is all I have left."

Lynn Moley said that she had just received a text from her daughter that she and Lacey were going to a friend's house. It was 9:36 p.m. Eight minutes later, she got a call from a Niagara County sheriff's deputy, telling her that she needed to get to the hospital.

"He took us in a private room," Lynn Moley said, "and told us our little girl was gone.

"If you choose to go out there and drive [drunk]," she told her audience, "you can't take it back. You can't bring my child back."

She said she and her husband are grateful for the 19 years they had with their daughter -- and for the gift of forgiveness they can share with Lacey.

It was a gift given in the midst of deep sorrow. Ryan Lacey sat next to the couple at Kristina's funeral.

John Moley said that Lacey's appearances in shackles at the victim impact panels help "make it real" for those they are trying to reach.

During the latest panel, Lacey's mother, Kathy, remembered getting a call similar to the one Lynn Moley received that tragic July night, telling her to go to Erie County Medical Center. When her son learned the crash had killed his girlfriend, "He just lost it," she said.

"It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do," his father, Mark Lacey, said about telling his son. "If you think it can't happen, wake up. It's going to happen just like that."

Ryan Lacey said he has spoken about individual choices and responsibilities during his talks.

"I'm not going to say I will never drink again," he tells the audiences, "but I will never drink and drive again. I can't. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I were to have a few drinks and drive. I know from experience what can happen.

"You can't think it's just that one time. I know the repercussions."

As the Moleys and Laceys tell their story, the prosecutor who runs the gatherings becomes more subdued. Brenner reminds those required to be there that he and the speakers are not there to judge them. It's a message underlined by the Moley and Lacey families sitting side-by-side.

The message is more a warning, a reminder, of the risks they have taken, and the potential consequences of repeating those risks.

Tracy Mangione, of Niagara Falls, was among those who said she got the message.

In tears, the 32-year-old mother of young children said she realizes how selfish she was to get behind the wheel while drunk.

"It's amazing what we take for granted," Mangione said, "when we sit down to have a good time."

nfischer@buffnews.comnull