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OLAF FUB SEZ: Words to the wise from novelist Nelson Algren, born on this date in 1909: “Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom’s. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.”

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DOUBLE DUTY – Lockport author Marc Pietrzykowski, who teaches English at Niagara County Community College, is turning the tables tonight on the usual launch program for the two new books he is publishing simultaneously – his second novel, a thriller called “The Emissary,” and his sixth book of poetry, “Straddling the Sibyl.”

Instead of reading from the books himself, he’s holding a party from 7 to 10 p.m. in the Tuscarora Inn, 128 Walnut St., Lockport, and inviting other people to read from his works. All the readings will be videotaped for YouTube.

All readers get a drink chip and a ticket for a raffle, in which the first prize is an e-reader with copies of Pietrzykowski’s books already loaded in. There also will be a free buffet from DeFlippo’s Restaurant and a cash bar.

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CLEAN SWEEP – Warm up for Earth Day next month by helping the nonprofit Friends of the Broadway Market as they do a spring cleanup Saturday to get the historic market at 999 Broadway ready for its big Easter season. Volunteers should bring gloves and meet at 10 a.m. in the market’s community room. For info, call 913-7575.

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TAKE A CHANCE – The Ladies Sodality of St. John Vianney Parish hosts its annual theme tray social Sunday afternoon in the church at 2950 Southwestern Blvd., between Michael and Reserve roads, Orchard Park. Doors open at 1 p.m. First drawing is at 2:15. Admission is $5 and includes dessert, a beverage and 25 tickets.

Good Shepherd Parish, 5442 Tonawanda Creek Road, Pendleton, holds a spring raffle and potluck dinner at 5:30 p.m. Saturday. Grand prize is $1,000. For reservations, call 625-8594.

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FULL MENU – Seven restaurants will serve up 44 food items from 11:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday in the annual Taste of the Southtowns in St. Aloysius Hall, 190 Franklin St., Springville.

Live music will be provided by the Rustic Ramblers and Wagner & Friends. Admission is free with purchase of tickets for food or the chance auction. Proceeds benefit Gooseneck Hill Waterfowl Sanctuary, the largest waterfowl sanctuary in the U.S. For info, call 942-6835.

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TODAY’S CATCH – Lake Erie Beach Volunteer Fire Company, 9483 Lake Shore Road, Angola, 3 to 7 p.m. today. Also chicken tenders, desserts from Girl Scouts and a full bar.

Maryvale Drive Presbyterian Church, 425 Maryvale Drive, Cheektowaga, 4 to 7 p.m. today. Krolick’s fish, $9.50 adults, $6.50 kids 10 and under; chicken tenders, $8 adults, $4.50 kids 10 and under. Also theme tray raffle.

Madonna Council, Knights of Columbus, 755 Erie Ave., North Tonawanda, 4 to 7 p.m. today. $8.95 fish, $9.75 seafood platter.

Cambria Volunteer Fire Company, 4631 Cambria-Wilson Road, Lockport, 4 to 7 p.m. today. Senior early-bird special, 4 to 5 p.m. $9.75. Also chicken, shrimp and fish sandwiches.

St. Simon’s Episcopal Church, 200 Cazenovia St., 4 to 7 p.m. today. $9 adults, $5 kids under 12.

St. Stephen Serbian Orthodox Church, Abbott and Weber roads, Lackawanna, 4 to 7 p.m. today. Also shrimp baskets.

Father Justin Council, Knights of Columbus, 2735 Union Road, Cheektowaga, 4 to 8 p.m. today. $10.75. Also seafood platters and specials.

Father Nelson Baker Council, Knights of Columbus, 2838 South Park Ave., Lackawanna, 4 to 8 p.m. today. $11.95. Also scallops, shrimp, roast beef and specials.

Orchard Park United Methodist Church, 3700 N. Buffalo St., 4:30 to 7 p.m. today. $10 adults, $6 kids.

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OTHER EATS – St. John’s Evangelical Lutheran Church, 3512 Clinton St. at Union Road, West Seneca, holds its monthly community dinner from 4 to 7 p.m. today. Menu is grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup. Freewill donations are welcome.

The Blessed Virgin Sodality of Blessed Mother Teresa Parish sponsors a pork chop dinner from noon to 5 p.m. Sunday in St. James Church, 496 Terrace Blvd., Depew. Dinners are $12. Macaroni and cheese for kids 12 and under is $3.50. Special guest Pringles the Clown will do face-painting.

The Alden Christian Theatre Society, 170 Church St., hosts a spaghetti dinner from noon to 6 p.m. Sunday. Dinners are $7.

The Depew Polish Falcons Club holds its 13th annual chicken and ribs barbecue by BW’s Barbecue beginning at noon Sunday. Chicken dinners are $9, ribs are $11.

Boy Scout Troop 104 holds its 38th annual spaghetti dinner from 1 to 6 p.m. Sunday in the St. John the Baptist School gym, 1085 Englewood Ave., Town of Tonawanda. Dinners are $9 adults, $5 kids 6 to 12. Youngsters under 6 eat free.

SS. Peter & Paul Church, 68 E. Main St., Hamburg, hosts a Chiavetta’s chicken barbecue from 1:30 to 6 p.m. Sunday in the school gymnasium. Dinners are $9. Also a theme basket raffle.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY – Karen Hoffman, Andrew SanFilippo, William J. Hochul Jr., Rita Argen Auerbach, Marty Buczkowski, Sister Mary Mark Janek, Eric Godzich, Bethany Oesterle, Diane Curley, Tom Herberger, Michelle Clemente, Ryan Pankiewicz, Alyssa Johnson, Conner Johnson, Diana Johnstone, Elaine Bartkowiak, Madeline Kelley, Mark Wodzinski, Michelle Clemente, Rachael Hageman Blair, Danny Grasso, Jennifer Mernitz, Jennifer Fertel, Nick Pikul, Martin Coyle, Darnell Johnson and Sally Roberts.

SATURDAY – Joy Kimball, Paul Cambria, Dora P. Wilson, Kathy Driscoll, Madeline Haggerty, Laurie Volkenner, Jane Burke, Colin Becker, John Robert Forster, Payton Essman, Shelby Stisser, David Greaves, Kristy Gossel, Cindy Scott, Mike Rauls, Bryson Rachuna, Geoffrey Fitzhugh Perry, Marcy Little, Lemoyne Rhoades, Chandler Cotter and Kathy Stedzko.

AND SUNDAY – Don Grant, Sister Mary Francilita Machnica, Randie Joseph, Mary Ann Kirisits, Jim Russell, Stuart Miller, Sue Cooper, Caden Rosen, Liam Rosen, Debbie Palkowski, Bonnie Seiling, Butch Lickfeld, Travis Lickfeld, Bev Copoulos, Lisa O. Gorman, Sharon Davis, John Vuich, Jen Braun, Cindy Streicher, Teresa Taberski, Dan Cotter, Kevin Pikul and Alex Dockstader.

email: olaffub@buffnews.com