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OLAF FUB SEZ: According to comedian Phyllis Diller, born on this date in 1917, “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

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WAR STORIES – “The Capture of Fort Niagara and the Burning of Lewiston,” which took place in December 1813, will be the topic as the War of 1812 lecture series continues at 6 p.m. today in the Buffalo History Museum, 25 Nottingham Court at Elmwood Avenue. Speaker will be Lee Simonson, the 1812 Bicentennial director for the Historical Association of Lewiston. Admission is free for museum members, $7 for others.

Meanwhile, the museum is hosting its monthly Food Truck Rodeo from 5 to 9 p.m., rounding up 11 local food trucks in the parking lot. DJ Cutler will provide the music. A portion of the proceeds benefit the museum.

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PASS THE MUSTARD – Erie County Legislator John Mills hosts another of his benefit hot dog roasts from 4 to 8 p.m. Thursday at Hulbert Library of the Town of Concord, 18 Chapel St., Springville. Sahlen’s hot dogs are $1, Italian sausage is $2. Every purchase includes a bottle of Mayer Brothers spring water.

Meanwhile, the library’s annual used-book sale, which opens today, will be wrapping up at 6 p.m., and a bake sale will be held in the library from 4 to 7 p.m. Across the street in Fiddler’s Green Park, Paul Zittel and Pure Country will start playing a free concert at 6:30.

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LOOKING GOOD – More than 70 properties in South Buffalo and the Old First Ward will be in full flower for South Buffalo Alive’s 13th annual Garden Tour from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Sunday.

Tours begin at Tim Russert’s Children’s Garden at 2002 South Park Ave., next to the Dudley Branch Library, where tour brochures will be available. Tours are self-guided and free of charge. For info, visit www.southbuffaloalive.com.

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OLD WORLD DELIGHTS – Our Lady of Bistrica Croatian Catholic Church, 1619 Abbott Road, Lackawanna, holds its annual Lawn Fete from 4 to 11 p.m. Saturday and noon to 10 p.m. Sunday. Pork sandwiches and dinners, chicken dinners, hot dogs, hamburgers, sarma (stuffed cabbage) and cavapcici (grilled meat) will be available both days, plus roast lamb by the pound Sunday.

Terry Buchwald will perform his Elvis show from 7 to 11 p.m. Saturday, and there will be live music all Sunday afternoon. Admission is free.

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SAIL AWAY – See the latest developments on Buffalo’s waterfront and the monuments to the city’s industrial heritage on the second of this summer’s Historic Buffalo River Tours, sponsored by the Industrial Heritage Committee.

The tour runs from 12:30 to 2:30 p.m. Saturday, sailing from the Miss Buffalo dock in Erie Basin Marina. Tickets are $17 for adults, $12 for kids 4 to 11. For info and reservations, call 856-6696.

The other tours will be held Aug. 4, Aug. 18 and Labor Day, Sept. 2.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY Griffin James Saloman, Terry Lew, Nancy Blaschak, Helen Panza, Ryan Miller, Artie Kwitchoff, Mary Ann Schaller, Doug Conley, Dorothy Barrett, Jakob Vulcheff, Daniel Recktenwalt. Andy Rouchka, Denise Bell, Caitlin Augustyn, Tom Toplisek, Marilyn Moran, Dennis Gospadarski, Margie Manista, Richard Stiegler, Mary Margaret O’Malley, Joseph Fecio, Thomas Jay, Brayden Simmons, Ronald R. Ratajczak, Annie Chilelli, John Conlon and Dan Arth.

AND THURSDAY – William J. Jefferson, Dale Anderson, Susan Grabenstatter, Eleanor Whelan, Val Derenda, Frank Mesiah, Richard Anthony Fontana, Anna Fatta, Lydia Churchill, John-Paul Stiglmeier, DeeDee Tomaka, John Evoy, Kevin Haggerty, Jerry Marino, Amanda Sobczyk, Cindy Barrett, Lois Thurnherr, Colleen Cash Ferratella, Rev. G. Scott Comrie, Misty S. Baker, Caitlin McNamara, Caitlin Louth, Mark Golimowski, Patricia Zatko, Lauren Zelasko, Luke Zelasko, Dick Foran, James Patrick Gallagher, Rene Pantling, Harry Brand, Bob “Brauts” Brautlacht, Rimas Musteikis and Jonathan Hunt.

email: olaffub@buffnews.com