Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for eight years. When we married, we both drank and smoked. My husband quit smoking five years ago, and I have continued off and on.
If he catches me with a cigarette it becomes an argument, and it’s either I quit or we’re done! I love my husband, but I find it difficult to be honest.
I don’t see the big deal if I smoke a cigarette. He sometimes makes me feel like a teenager hiding it from my parents! Any advice?
– Closet Smoker In Wisconsin
Dear Smoker: Surely you know that smoking isn’t good for you, and it upsets your husband because he loves you. This is less about a contest of wills than the fact that you are addicted to nicotine and can’t stop using. You’re an adult, not a naughty teenager, so stop acting like one. The cigarette is not your friend; your husband is.
When you’re finally ready to see it that way and overcome the habit, your physician can help you. If you won’t do it for yourself, understand that after a former smoker has quit, the smell of secondhand smoke is extremely offensive. Or worse, it can tempt the former smoker to resume.
Mom shares too much
Dear Abby: My mom has no respect for my privacy. When something happens in my life, she shares it with all my relatives despite my repeatedly having asked her not to. She has a website where she rehashes nearly every moment of my life spent with my family and posts all of my pictures.
When I mention to her that I would like my privacy respected, she gets upset and calls me ridiculous. I don’t feel she has a right to disseminate information about me if I ask her not to. How can I get her to stop?
– Wants My Privacy
Dear Wants Your Privacy: If you’re a teenager, please realize that your mom may do this because she’s proud of you. However, if you are an adult and no longer live under her roof, a way to get her to pull back, if not stop completely, would be to share less information with her.