Dear Abby: I have a friend who I believe is having an affair. I have no concrete evidence, only a slew of circumstantial evidence such as odd work hours, blocks of mystery time set aside at night in his cellphone’s day planner, and evading questions about texts from females.
I have no idea how to approach him, or if I even should. I always considered him to be a decent individual, but in the back of my mind now I’m thinking, “He’s cheating on his wife!” What makes me uneasy is that it’s all based on my hunch. I’m usually pretty good with my hunches, though. Any words of wisdom would be welcome.
–Nick in New England
Dear Nick: What are you doing going through your friend’s cellphone day planner and reading his texts? He doesn’t have to account to you for his time. For all you know the man may be in a 12-step program or a therapy group. If he wanted you to know what he’s doing, he would tell you. Right now the “friendliest” thing you can do is mind your own business.
Dear Abby: I have worked at my job almost 10 years. Most of the owners are nice, and the staff is great. I like my job most days.
I had a really bad week recently. I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. The week ended with a really angry text from my boss. He was right. I was in the wrong, and I apologized. He sent me another text, still angry, and my whole weekend was ruined by it.
I can’t figure out how not to take work home with me. Also, I can’t help but think he was wrong using a text as a means of discussing the issue. How do I confront this issue?
– Still Upset in Oregon
Dear Still Upset: It would have been much better management if your boss had talked with you face to face about what was wrong with your performance. By now, your boss should have cooled off, and I suggest that you have a private chat with him and say that if he has a bone to pick with you, you would prefer to hear it from his lips rather than have it communicated in a text, which was hurtful.
Nix those interruptions
Dear Abby: What is the protocol for in-person conversations vs. phone interruptions (either via text or call)? When talking with someone, I feel it’s rude for the other individual to respond to voice or text messages. Can’t people take a break long enough to actually have a real LIVE conversation? How do other readers handle this? Do they walk away? Patiently wait? Or speak up?
– Technologically Overloaded in Virginia
Dear Overloaded: The best approach is the direct approach. Tell the person, “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”