Dear Abby: My wife and I have been married 17 years. For the most part, our marriage has been great, and I love her very much. Lately, though, I have felt that our sexual and emotional intimacy has been lacking. I spoke to her about it recently and tried to explain how I feel. She has responded, and things are improving.
Still, she spends most of her time on her cellphone checking email, Facebook, Pinterest and watching Netflix. At bedtime, she stays on her phone or laptop until after I have gone to bed. When she comes to bed, she ignores me and goes straight to sleep, even if I have been lying there awake in the dark waiting for her.
Has she fallen in love with her cellphone? Even if we don’t have sex all the time, I would just like to be able to talk to her or hold her for a minute before we go to sleep. Any suggestions other than throwing her phone out the window?
– Abandoned Husband in Utah
Dear Abandoned: You say your wife has responded and things are hopeful. That means she is at least receptive to working on your marital relationship.
I am hearing with increasing frequency about the problems cellphones cause in relationships. People have become so dependent upon their digital companions that in some cases it’s impossible to turn them off, because people have become addicted.
In cases like this, a licensed therapist should be consulted. Of course, as in any addiction, the sufferer must be willing to admit there is a problem and want to do something about it. I wish there was a 12-step program to which I could refer you, but I was unable to locate one. In the future, I’m willing to bet, they’ll sprout like mushrooms.
Moving close to ex-boyfriend
Dear Abby: I’m planning on moving into the same apartment complex as my ex-boyfriend. It’s all I can afford and still be close to where my family lives. He’ll be on one side, and I’ll be on the far side. I don’t think he will be driving to the side I’ll be living on.
Should I text him and let him know I’m moving nearby but that I’m not stalking him? Or should I keep my mouth shut and hope he never sees my car?
– Too Close for Comfort?
Dear Too Close?: Before you sign the lease, ask yourself how you would feel if you saw your ex-boyfriend involved with another woman. If it would be painful, then it would be healthier for you to find an apartment elsewhere.
Next, ask yourself why your ex might think you were stalking him. If there is a grain of truth to it, again, you should not move there. If, however, there isn’t, it is not necessary to text him. If he sees your car and has a problem with it, do not make it your problem. The romance is over, and so is the drama. Live your life and let him live his.