ADVERTISEMENT

People are the problem, not the guns themselves

I am dismayed. After all of Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s talk about guns killing people, I wondered why all my guns are different. I sat watching them for awhile and when my neighbor dropped by to chat, the .40 Glock never moved. When the mailman stopped with our daily drop, my Benelli .12 was curiously silent. I put my ear up against my gun safe when the school bus halted out front. I didn’t hear a thing.

Then it dawned on me: I was sold guns that don’t act on their own and do absolutely nothing unless a human picks them up. Clearly, I’ve been ripped off.

I was pleased to notice, however, that my forks are getting noisier in the kitchen drawer, rattling around, increasingly impatient to be set loose on our family. I think they’re itching to make one of us fat.

Michael R. Caputo

East Aurora