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What a sap

There’s nothing like armchair quarterbacking at a maple syrup farm, as this syrupy story shows. At Merle Maple Farm in Attica, the burly farmer, in a camo hat and sunglasses, was explaining the maple syrup process, when Buzz’s brother George spoke up. Beyonce drinks maple sap, he said. Why couldn’t Merle Farms bottle the sap the way Poland Springs bottles water? Especially since it takes 40 gallons of sap to make one gallon of syrup, and … The farmer asked, why sell sap when you can sell syrup? George argued: “Well, on a hot day, you’re not going to drink a big glass of maple syrup.” The farmer was ready for him. “YOU might not,” he said. Result: general laughter, and end of discussion.

Candle in the wind

How did we know that this year, it was going to be one of those Dyngus Days? When the giant Paschal candle at St. Stanislaus Church refused to go out. At the Easter Vigil – a dramatic, candlelit ceremony with clouds of incense – Father Ted, the pastor, set about to snuff the candle, which loomed over his head. But every time he reached up and lowered the candle snuffer over it, the flame would sputter up again. Minutes passed. Kids started to giggle. The organist began to play. Finally an altar server brought the candle down so that the flame was inches from the priest’s face, and he could better snuff it out. Which he did. But no! The flame hopped up again, defiantly. At last he took a big breath and blew it out. One teenage girl whispered: “I hope he made a wish!”

Take a load off

It’s up there with the St. Patrick’s Day, Easter and Dyngus Day parades, the parade of dogs with their owners, promenading on the first semi-warm Saturday on the Ring Road of Delaware Park. Saturday, an old German shepherd walked slowly and with dignity, like a diplomat. Buzz also admired a shiny black Lab. But the greatest dogs, the most representative of the people of Buffalo, were two huge St. Bernards. They trotted into the park happily, jowly heads held high. When we met them again halfway around, though, physical fitness was forgotten. Their owner was sitting on a set of bleachers, and the two massive animals were beached on the grass, unapologetically bushed. Hey, we’ve all got time. Swimsuit season won’t be here anytime soon.

The buzz

“It’s not candy. Don’t eat it.” That was an usher at St. Stan’s, handing a candle to Buzz’s little nephew. Meanwhile, a friend fretted on Facebook: “Whaddya know? Words with Friends isn’t cool with ‘Dupa.’ ” … Let the retro revelry continue! Mike A’s Steakhouse at the Lafayette is reaching back in time Wednesdays through Fridays with the Three Martini Lunch, described as “a leisurely, indulgent lunch enjoyed by professionals and executives.”

Quote

“We produce a wide array of pure maple products and gourmet foods to titillate the most discriminating palate.”

– Website of Merle Maple Farm