With Joy Behar leaving ABC’s daytime talk show “The View” after 16 years this May — the biggest cast departure since Meredith Vieira ankled in 2006, unless you count Rosie O, which I certainly do — it is now time to officially shake out the dust.
Put some life into this kaffeeklatsch!
Of course, I have suggestions who to replace her with. You’ll have to decide how facetious they are, but there is gold in this list, mark my words. Also, you’re going to need replacements sooner or later. After all, Barbara Walters could get sick again (I’m wondering if she ever had the mumps as a child). There are rumors — by the way, there always are rumors; this is TV — that one or another cast member may also be announcing shortly that they, too, must “finish that play they’ve been writing …” (I wonder what Joy’s play is about, BTW?).
It won’t be the person you may have heard is leaving. More on that later.
In the meantime, here is the list:
• Ann Curry – I start off with one of the softer possibilities. Ann needs work, wants out of NBC, needs a public forum to tell wonderfully gossipy-and just-short-of-libelous stories about Matt Lauer.
• Roseanne Barr – Come on, admit it. You thought of this too. She would make “The View” insanely, compulsively watchable; just keep that 7-second delay handy, Bill.
• Sarah Silverman –Would shred the polite veneer with a visceral, venal, voracious joie de vivre. Oh, how Silverman would be the best “get” ever. Of course, all of the other hosts would quit.
• Tina Fey – Doesn’t know how to write. Can’t act. Bad at hosting awards shows. Out of work. Will never get a film starring role again. TV is done after that hugely disappointing run at “30 Rock.” The poor woman must be good at something, right? That’s where “The View” hosting gig comes in — you don’t have to be good at anything to do this!
• Amy Poehler – (See Fey)
• Andy Cohen – Knows how to keep squabbling squabblers in line.
• Nicki Minaj – After she’s fired from “American Idol” this season, naturally.
• Lena Dunham – Need youth, and after all, she is the Voice of an Entire Generation; surely she has something to say about where to get the best latte in Boerum Hill.
The good news for the show’s producers is that they don’t have more than one spot to fill. There is no need to say goodbye to Elisabeth Hasselbeck. She’s staying put as a co-host despite reports insisting otherwise.
Walters called that story “particularly false” on Monday’s edition of the show.
She also denied reports that Hasselbeck has lost favor with “The View” for her conservative political stances, something Walters says “we value and appreciate.” Hasselbeck has been on “The View” for a decade.
Walters on Monday confirmed that Behar will exit the show in August. Behar was among the first co-hosts with Walters when “The View” debuted in 1997.
Besides Walters, the remaining panel includes Whoopi Goldberg and Sherri Shepherd.
The Associated Press contributed to this report.