Dear Abby: My two adult granddaughters have rejected me, their doting grandfather. Their father gave me this explanation: “They are uncomfortable with the way you rub their shoulders and necks.”
These girls and both parents have misinterpreted my innocent expressions of affection, which haven’t changed since the girls were little. The only change is in their perception of my actions.
I am devastated. I asked twice to meet with these family members to discuss their concerns.
It has been three months since I mentioned this and no meeting time has been offered. There has been no contact, and neither girl has called me for any reason this year.
I can’t just stop loving those with whom I have forged a 20-year bond of affection. How can this rupture be repaired?
– Grieving Granddad
Dear Grieving Granddad: Clearly, there is a need for some professional mediation here, provided your granddaughters and their parents are willing. If your touches have been regarded as inappropriate, you should have been warned about it years ago.
Obviously something has made your granddaughters uncomfortable, and the rupture won’t heal until it can be discussed openly.
Dogs not welcome
Dear Abby: Lately I have noticed that people are bringing their dogs shopping with them. I’m not talking about service dogs, but pets.
The other day, a woman brought her dog into the grocery store. While I’ll admit the little thing looked cute sitting in the shopping cart, someone else’s food will be in that cart next, and who knows where that dog’s feet have been?
Why does management allow this? I’m willing to bet money that if I were to bring my pit bull, “Bruiser,” inside the grocery store with me, I’d be stopped immediately. Talk about a double standard. I welcome your comments.
– Askance in Poway, Calif.
Dear Askance: You should speak to the store manager and ask why it was permitted, because I was under the impression that health laws do not permit canines inside establishments that sell food unless they are service dogs.
Your pit bull “Bruiser” might be unwelcome not because of his size, but because there is concern about the breed’s reputation.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.