Dear Abby: I’m a 20-year-old college student with a great job, life ambitions and parents who love me.
I didn’t date much in high school, but a few months ago I met a wonderful man who is in the Army. Two things about this relationship are different: First, we met on the Internet, communicated online for several weeks, then took the next step to meet in person. The second is, “Jack” is 10 years older than I am and has a son from a previous marriage. Jack is stationed not far from me. When I met him, I realized he was everything a woman could want. I did a background check and everything he told me is true. He supports me fully in pursuing my degree and my future career. But I’m afraid to introduce him to my parents because they’re old-fashioned. They are leery about people meeting on the Internet. They also want me to meet a guy closer to my age.
The more Jack and I are together, the more I realize how much I love him. I want to introduce the man I love to my family. How do I proceed with this? I am scared that my parents won’t accept Jack. How can I get them to accept my choice?
– Determined in the Southwest
Dear Determined: Your relationship with Jack appears to be progressing at warp speed. If you want your parents to accept him, you must give them an opportunity to get to know him – and the same applies to you because this romance is fresh.
As you communicate with your parents, start mentioning Jack. Tell them he is a member of the military and how you met. Meeting someone on the Internet these days is very common and nothing to be ashamed of.
The longer you continue keeping his existence a secret, the more concerned and disappointed your parents will be when you spring him on them. They will want to meet him, and you should introduce him. After that, the selling job will be his. Keep your cool. You are your parents’ little girl and always will be. But the decision of who you’ll wind up with is your own to make, not theirs.