Dear Abby: My fiance’s friend “Art” and his wife, “Julie,” just had a baby. While Julie was pregnant she asked my fiance and me to be godparents. Although we could not attend her baby shower due to a previous commitment, we contributed several gifts as well as a quilt I had made. A few weeks later, Julie posted on her social networking site that she was thankful for her baby’s godparents and named an entirely different couple – not us.
I am offended. If she had discussed her reason for the change with me, I would have understood. But there was no dialogue. To this day I have never received a thank-you for our shower presents. I would like to distance myself from Julie, but without damaging the relationship between Art and my fiance, who thinks I am overreacting and should let it go. What are your thoughts?
– Not A Godmother
Dear Not A Godmother: Julie may have been upset that you and your fiance didn’t attend the baby shower, or she may have spoken too quickly when she asked you to be godparents and didn’t have the courage to say so. You should have a chat with her and clear the air – if only because your fiance and her husband are such good friends.
A problem sibling
Dear Abby: My husband’s younger sister, “Cindy,” is mentally ill. She has caused tremendous problems in the family. My in-laws continue making excuses for her and are the worst enablers I have ever known.
My husband once urged his dad to put Cindy into a group home that will take care of her because his parents are getting up in years. They refuse because it would mean they’d have to have Cindy officially committed. Can my husband do anything before something happens to one of his parents?
– Sad In Texas
Dear Sad: Your husband should try to convince his parents to get counseling. It might help them accept that their daughter needs more help than they are equipped to give her. An outside person should weigh in so that Cindy can get the help she obviously needs.