Dear Abby: My husband is involved in his third computer affair. He’s a teacher, and his first one was with a student. He was almost fired over it. He apologized to me and to his supervisor, said it was an “error in judgment” and promised it would never happen again.
Last week I found an email he had sent to another former student, and the things he said to her were disgusting. The current one is a student, too.
I have a nice home and my husband is good to me except for his wandering eye. He gives me anything I want and takes me with him when he travels. But he is a Jekyll and Hyde when it comes to a computer and young girls – all younger than his daughter, I might add.
I know if this gets back to his boss he’ll be fired. He’s a brilliant man and an excellent teacher. So what do I do? I have considered doing nothing, and if he gets caught let him suffer the consequences. Or, I can confront him and try to get him to see a counselor before he ruins his career, and makes me a laughingstock of the community.
We’re financially comfortable and I hate to give it up, but I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this, either. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
– Not Laughing in Washington State
Dear Not Laughing: Your husband has a serious problem. He is playing Russian roulette with his career and it’s only a matter of time until he acts inappropriately with the wrong student.
If you love him at all, confront him and insist that he talk to a counselor and learn to strengthen his impulse control. When his activities become public knowledge, as is sure to happen, you won’t be the laughingstock of the community, but your husband WILL be scorned and jobless. If you want to protect your lifestyle as well as your husband’s female students, insist he get professional help NOW.
Breaking up, Facebook style
Dear Abby: What do you think of a 30-year-old man who posted every detail about his breakup with my daughter on Facebook for all of their friends and family members to read?
Is this the “new generation” norm? Or is he immature and inconsiderate?
– Hurting For My Daughter
Dear Hurting: Welcome to the wonderful world of the Internet, where millions of individuals have chosen to live their lives online for all to see. And while you and I might consider what happened to be a form of kissing-and-telling, bragging, a bid for sympathy and in poor taste, the people who love your daughter will “unfriend” this person, and those who love gossip will devour every detail with relish.
In time your daughter will realize she is lucky this relationship is over. Whether her former boyfriend used Facebook to gain 15 minutes of fame or as a weapon to hurt her, I think she can do better. Don’t you?