Dear Abby: After years of denial I have come to realize that I am bisexual. I’m happily married to a straight man, and we have a great marriage I wouldn’t change for the world. He is my soul mate, and we plan to be together for many years to come. I just happen to be physically attracted to women, too.
Some people say I can’t be bisexual if I’ve never been with a woman; I say they’re wrong. Am I correct? How do I deal with this in social situations? I’m afraid to put it on my social media profile for fear of a backlash from my family. I’d like my friends to know, but it doesn’t feel proper to just come out and say, “I’m bi.”
I was hoping some of your readers might be able to give me some input. How does one “come out” without overdoing it or coming across the wrong way? Is there a right way? Should I continue keeping it a secret? I’m not sure what to do with my revelation. I have pondered it for some time now, and felt I could trust you to give me tactful, unbiased advice.
– Bi in the Deep South
Dear B.I.T.D.S.: Bisexuality is having an attraction to people of both sexes, and yes, it is possible to be bisexual without having acted upon it. However, being married means you are (happily) involved in a monogamous relationship. To announce that you are bisexual and/or put it on the Internet would be a mistake, in my opinion, not only because it would shock your family, but also because it might seem like you were advertising that you are “available.” Unless you are promiscuous, you are NOT available. Most married people agree to be committed to their spouses regardless of whether they are straight, gay or bi. If you choose to confide your diverse sexual orientation to your close friends, that is your business. But if you do, please remember that once two people know something, there’s a strong likelihood of the news spreading faster than the flu. P.S. If you do decide to divulge, be sure to tell your husband first.
Time to post a sign
Dear Abby: I have a lighted doorbell at my front door. But nine out of 10 people who come here still knock rather than use the bell. Sometimes I don’t hear them, so then they’ll start pounding with a lot of force until they can get my attention. They never resort to using the doorbell. Why are people so stubborn?
– At Home in Melbourne, Fla.
Dear At Home: I’m not sure it’s stubbornness. They simply might not think to use it. However, I may have a solution for you. Post a sign over your doorbell that reads: PLEASE RING BELL!
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.