Dear Abby: My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship and agreed to split our visits 50-50 between our cities. Initially, it worked great. Unfortunately, his work schedule has changed, and for the past year he has come here to visit me only once every month or so, while I frequently drive for hours to see him.
He says because he’s away from home for work, it’s only fair that I travel to see him since it’s “less trouble” for me. I understand he puts in a lot of time with travel for work, but at what point does the ratio become unbalanced and unfair?
I miss weekends in my city with my friends, and it makes me sad that he won’t make the effort to see me. What do you think is right in this matter?
– Uncertain in San Francisco
Dear Uncertain: “What’s right” is the original agreement you had with your boyfriend, or something close to it. Because he is no longer willing to live up to his part in the bargain, consider seeing him less often.
Perhaps if he has a chance to miss you, he will feel impelled to make more of an effort. And if he’s not, then you won’t have to cut off your social relationships at home – relationships you may need if this romance doesn’t work out.
Pennies from heaven
Dear Abby: Several years ago, when I read one of your letters about pennies from heaven, I laughed about it to myself. My sister-in-law had died a few months earlier and I said, “OK, Sharyn, if you’re there, send me a penny from heaven.”
Abby, the next day when I arrived at work, there on my keyboard was a perfectly placed penny. And for weeks afterward I kept finding more pennies. Finally I had to say, “OK, Sharyn, I get it.” And the pennies stopped.
– A Believer Now in Somers, Conn.
Dear Believer Now: I’m glad your faith is restored. If you saved them, have them made into charms for a bracelet. Every time you wear it you’ll feel close to the sister-in-law who’s smiling down on you.